Sunday, October 19, 2008

To Recover From Broken Relationship

Have you ever encountered the broken relationship in your life? What did you do to recover from that hurts and pains? Being betrayed, cheated, ignored and lots more. I do not know how you all recovered from it but to me it was very hard. Seems like I will never want to involves in love with anybody not just in terms of having a new partner but also in building a new relationship. I choose to be in a position of never get in hurts. Hope you know what I mean… hehehe…

To me relationship is a fragile treasure. They can fail for a variety of seasons. Sometimes misunderstanding tear relationship apart. Sometimes unresolved conflicts explode between people. Sometimes feared learned in earlier relationship undermine new investment in intimacy. Sometimes a person harms a relationship by cheating or deceit. For these and many other reasons, friendship, marriages, family relationship or even so called boyfriend-girlfriend relationship break apart.

When a significant relationship fails, a part of us dies with it. When our relationship break, our hearts breaks too. We grieve and search for a ways to understand what happened. We want to know what went wrong. And we long to find healing for our broken hearts. I grieved for many years and trying hard to understands what I’m doing wrong and what other things that I forgot to contribute in the past relationship. And is not easy to trust or to risk intimacy again after what I have experienced the pain of a relationship that has failed. And I’m tempted to give up on all relationship. Fear that I will again inflict harm or that I will be harmed. And I’m assuming by the illusion that safety can be found in isolation. But the truth of all this is we were created to be in relationship and need other people. Intimate relationship with friends or with family or life partner can enrich our lives.

I have experienced the trauma of broken relationship. And at one point I want to find healing that corresponds to the depth of the wound. I want to be healed so that I can again take the risk to love. I searched a lot of quotes, sharing from experts but still the hurts there. Rooted deeply and strong. I keep praying to God to heal and deliver me from the past. Take away my feared and my over self-protected until one day I heard a tiny voice deep within me saying ‘ I forgive you. Go in peace and be loved again’. I forgot to forgive myself !! No wonder how hard I forgive the wrong things in my past the pains is still there!!! I really forget to forgive myself!!

So friends, forgive and forget the past but live and love in present.

“ Do not remember the former things, Nor consider the things of old. Behold, I
will do a new things. Now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will
even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the dessert”
(Isaiah 43: 18-19)

Still I feared to be hurts again but know I have to take a risk in order to ‘live’ again. Keep understanding, fighting, forgiving, praying and surrendered…


  1. To Recover From Broken Relationship...its treasure to learn

  2. Yup! treasure to learn. Keep us stronger..

  3. im not recover yet..hehe.. just be happy outside no matter what happend inside. ekek.. god bless u my fren.. :)

  4. [Missleads said... im not recover yet..hehe.. just be happy outside no matter what happend inside. ekek.. god bless u my fren.. :)

    October 20, 2008 10:06 AM]

    Ya..not easy to recover. People said time will heal. But I dont believed it..its happen to me..just pray for healing and deliverance

  5. its need me half day to recover LoL!!!

  6. hemmm...sooner or later u will recover my friend.. be patient & a lot of pray...

  7. Kalo saya kan...i'll cry and cry and cry...bila air mata sudah habis..terus pi cuci muka..dan saya akan menyibukkan diri dgn kerja2 di rumah...bila penat..boleh tidur nyenyak hehehe

    well..the pain is still there tapi sekurang2nya...beban akan berkurangan :)

    May God bless us always Alv..

  8. Let us share the joy of laughter together..hehhehehehe

  9. yaa.. we're here for you friend..

  10. good you can recover in half a day only..hehhehe...

    Phil..sya pun cam tu juga selalu. Menagis banyak2 sampai penat pas tu tidur..bangun nangis lagi..

    life is not a fairy tale..hehehhehe..but God is love..

  11. Of coz it hurts but you have to learn to let go of it... and be proud of yourself because you have LOVED!