Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Juggling with New Year Resolutions

I’ve been making a new year resolutions for a few years. I've always hope for good health, good pay and always give myself a target on how much I wanted to save for the year and some silly resolutions like how many movies I watched this year! Well, I've go through my list of resolutions this year to know whether I achieved some ..hehhehehe…this is the results:-

2008 Resolutions

  1. To finish my car installment early (√)
  2. To buy my own first house (√)
  3. To get 4 papers pass (ACCA)
  4. To save money to RM $$$$$
  5. Career/salary/rewards development (√)
  6. Jerusalem vacations

2009 Resolutions

  1. To make those close to my heart happy (family, friendship, loves..etc)
  2. No more sorrows,pains,hurts…(in other words avoiding the causes)
  3. Career development
  4. To finish my ACCA level
  5. New car??? Hehhehe
  6. Jerusalem vacation and more, more and more vocations
  7. Saving $$$$ is important to achieve all my goals.. hehehehhe..

But life can’t promise it all. Just imagine life like a game and we are juggling a ball, say 5 balls in the air. Just named it, work, family, health, friends and loves and spirits, and we’re keeping all of these in the air. To me I understand that work is a rubber ball. If I drop it, it will bounce back. And the other balls-family, health, friends and love, and spirit made of glass. If we drop one of these, they will irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. So that how my resolutions comes from..hehehhehe…

 So..Happy Blessed New Year 2009..

 p/s: the song played at my blog right now.. nothing to do with this post.. just for fun…  a bad one..  hehehhehee… sorry for the bad words…

Saturday, December 20, 2008

What Christmas Means To ..

Simply, the meaning Christmas for most people is one of the biggest holidays in a year (for a Christians) and most people have impression that they should do something fun and unique during the Christmas. But on the other hand, Christmas is a Holy Day from Christians point of view. Christmas is the day that Jesus Christ was born, and people every year celebrate for His birth, and appreciates the Jesus being in the nature. Unfortunately, some people abuse Christmas day by becoming too commercialized. People are not becoming aware of the real meaning of Christmas but concentrate on buying things, and have fun. There are too many problems caused from Christmas such as more crime, traffic congestion and crowdedness. People are taking Christmas as an opportunity for them to have fun. What do you think?

Christmas meant much more to me after I had a personal relationship with Jesus. Christmas was now about honoring Jesus' birth. Church had become part of my life and no matter where we were at Christmas, if I could I would slip out for an hour to attend a Christmas service. There I could be with other people who understood Christmas and celebrate it with them.

I wanted Christmas to be a special for my family especially to my young ‘soldiers’ (hehehehe..anak2 buah) .Their excitement over it gave it added meaning for me. It was fun creating our own family Christmas traditions. I enjoyed coming up with surprise presents that would delight my family. I've been pleased that we've often been able to be together as a family on Christmas morning although one of my sister converted to other religion. But, the traditions are keep on and even the children know how to honored the Christmas (to me they only excited on the presents and foods hahahhaha..whatever..)

I wanted Christmas to be about Jesus for my family, so we'd keep telling the story of Jesus' birth together. For me the Christmas story is full of symbolic meaning, whether it's true or not. One of my favorite parts about the story is that God, in the form of Jesus, connected with us by entering our world and walking in our shoes. If we take time to connect with other people that way at Christmas, maybe we can help make their Christmases more meaningful.  

No matter how old you are, the true reason we celebrate at this time of year is to celebrate the coming of God to the world of men. Because "God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but shall have everlasting life."

What does Christmas mean to me? Finding Jesus with fresh joy and the wonder of childhood, happy in thought that His born means a salvation, peace on earth and for all of us, the brightness of the stars shining in the heaven to light the way for Thee and the loves that makes it all is what Christmas means to me. May HE be the first object of our lives, every morning and every second… God Bless You All…

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Auntie..does Santa Clause Exist?

Last night, me and family putting up the Christmas tree with a new Christmas decorations (yes.. I did went to mall.. to get back my Christmas spirit.. hehehhe). My nephew and niece keep asking me “ Santa exist? How we know there is Santa Clause? Is he always wearing red and fat?.” One thing about my nephew and niece is, they will keep asking till they get the convincing answers. They are still too little and too curious to know. I don’t want to disappoint them and I’ll do my best to give an ‘answer’ to them which they can keep till they grow up. So, I searched through internet to find the best ‘answers’. Not a fairy tales. So, I found this story which I can give to them tonight.

"In 1897, an eight year old girl named Virginia O'Hanlon was told by other children that there was no Santa Claus. She asked her father if Santa Claus really existed, but when her father tried to avoid the question, she decided to find someone who could tell her! Whenever their family had a question they couldn't answer, they wrote to their newspaper "The New York Sun," and asked for the answer. So little Virginia said, "Well, I'm just going to write The Sun and find out the real truth,' Her father replied: "Go ahead, Virginia. I'm sure The Sun will give you the right answer, as it always does."

The little girl's letter was mailed and came to the desk of one of the Sun's Editors, Francis P. Church. Mr. Church knew that he needed to answer the little girl's question truthfully. His answer would become one of the most famous editorials in American history! Mr. Church answered with "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”. the letter wrote by young Virginia is”

“I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so. Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?”
(Virginia O'Hanlon)

The answers from The Sun:

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.

He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus? Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!

From The People's Almanac, pp. 1358-9.)

I might answer like this to my ‘kiddies’ hehehhe… “Santa Clause exists whenever you feel loves and spread the love to one another. We cant see Santa Claus but if we can feel the spirit of the Christmas.. Santa is there. And of course with the presence of Lord Jesus” Hopefully they will satisfy.

Or any other answers I can give to them? I don’t want to make it complicated on their age now.. Maybe I should learn also so that I can pass to my ‘future children’.. wakakkakaka…

Saturday, December 13, 2008

12 Days Before Christmas..Where Is The Spirit?

Where is my Christmas spirit? It’s seems to have run away. I don’t feel much like celebrating. I have no present wrapped and not even do the shopping.. not like before I’m so excited if December come. What happened to me? And it’s so close to Christmas day (it is 12 days to Christmas…huh?..) No light deco, no Christmas music, no warmness of Christmas at my office and..NOT even at home? Where my spirits of Christmas go? Is someone or anybody trying to take Christ from me?

How to get into Christmas spirit again? Is it too late now? Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace, love and goodwill to all. But with all the stress and bad emotion in this season, I end up feeling more like Mr. Grinch who wants to steal the Christmas mood from everyone.  My nephew, niece, sisters, brother and mum must be upset of me because every year I’m the one who always started the ‘Christmas mood’. I’m so sorry.. feel too bad and pity of myself.  Every year I yearn for the Christmas feeling that we are family used to have - the one that is brought to mind by silver bells, Christmas tree, present wrapped with colorful paper, exchange gifts, greeting cards, simple wine and of course a Christmas dinner..

Well, maybe I should go out to the malls, participate with the commotion out there. Try to enjoy with the crowd and make myself busy with gifts. What else? I don’t know. Or maybe watch some movies relate to Christmas feeling.. right? Oh God, guide me again to the meaning of the Christmas. It’s seems faded away… uncontrollable. I may never find all the answers and I may never understand why. But I know that I still have to try.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Grumbling Again..

Have you ever feel tired in your life? Not because of work but more on ‘yourself’.  Yes I did and I hate it the most. Now I’m realized what drove me more tired than other routine of life. But I cannot do anything. I can feel my heart crushed inside of my chest. My brain tired of repeating the best solution or answer to give it to the best. Tired of hoping, misled, pleasing but always become number 2 , laughing to make it easier to people  and tired of giving all that I have to get nothing in return except the scars. 

Tired of reflecting on memories by wanting them to last forever. Living in the false hope and know is not true but no strength to believe it. Feel tired for something I want too but cannot obtained, waiting and seeing things through from broken windows, listening to the promises but never come true.  And yes I’m feeling down because of being hurts, played, lies, alone, tears, alone, jerk, games and ….. dead ends.

I’m tired by letting my life being in other people hands and tired of answering their demands. The future is coming and I can’t let it ruined by living in the past. I’m really looking the way to come out and wished for the super strength to leave it behind.

Why are you cast down. O  my soul, why you disquteted within me?. Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my help and my God

(Psalm 42:11)

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

This Is The Road You Walk!!

I can’t sleep. Too much thinking or stress yet to heal? Maybe.. I don’t know. I dig up my wardrobe with intention to pack all my unused stuff and keep it at the corner of room and guess what? I found my old diary…. years ago. I can’t stop myself to read it…again and again. Almost 2 hours to finished it. Wah.. the stories of 364 days! Then I compared what I’ve done this year..nothing to be proud of.. mostly a ‘grey episodes’ arrgghh.. why? I’m in deep ‘emotion’ this year. I should gain back that energy and excitement. Yes.. I should.

I don’t know why suddenly I remember this song. It is because of the lyrics? the meaning? I’m not sure. But I know it’s mean something to me. I hope I can figure it out soon.

Towards The Future Look! Look at your feet
This is the road you walk
Look! Look ahead of you
That is your future
My mother gave me so much kindness
"Embrace, love and walk," she said over and over
At that time I was still immature I didn't understand her meaning
She held my hand And walked with me

Our dreams are always high up in the sky
It's scary that they might not come true
But we still continue to chase them
Because it's our story
We don't want to give up
When I was unsure, she held my hand and walked with me
There were times when I hated that kindness
When separated from my mother
I couldn't be obedient
Look! Look at your feet
This is the road you walk
Look! Look ahead of you
That is your future
There were times when I hated that kindness
When separated from my mother I couldn't be obedient

Look! Look at your feet
This is the road you walk
Look! Look ahead of you
That is your future
Look! Look at your feet
This is the road you walk
Look! Look ahead of you
That is your future Turn towards the future
Let's walk slowly...

Anyway, it is Japanese song. I’m sure you all know it. The song title ‘Miraie’. I’ve translate it… couldn’t remember where I get it. But I did wrote at my diary. There’s must be something that I miss.. hehhehe..will figure it out soon.. who knows.. will answer some of my questions.. hahahaha

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Welcome To My Life

(Happy Weekend Everybody....)

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark

To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be like me

Everybody asked me how am I today? why? how come?..well..feel lazy to answer and not in a mood of talking (but yes to chat..hehheehe..know what I mean). So to make it short here how I feel today..just refer to the LYRICS..Whatever It is...Rock On!!! :)

Saturday, December 6, 2008

It's Time to Wake Up and Change

Change can be difficult for most people. But in order to be happy we have to become better. And becoming better involves change. So, why you afraid to change? Anything that is alive grows and changes constantly. Only dead things cease to grow. Don’t be afraid to change. You may lose something good, but you may gain something even better’

I still remembered this speech given by one of the priest (cant remembered the name.. ^_^… hehehe sorry) during the homily few months ago. It’s keep tangling me till this day. I know that I need to do something but I keep procrastinate it. I keep telling myself that any intention to change and get out from my comfort zone will be better instead of waiting and watching. But I don’t have a gut to do it. Excuses, complaining, blaming, comparing make me feel safe to stay in my comfort zone.

But for these past few days, I have a little faith to do it. Why know I realize it? Hehehhehe… maybe because I afraid to change and lose something in return? Emm..maybe…hahaha. I feel motivated when my big bos pay a visit at my workplace for few days and give a lot of inspiring words for us to keep change and grow. Thanks for it. At least he do give me ‘something’ to make my move. Change, move and grow….

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Good Bye and Rise Up

For quite sometimes I’ve learned to say good bye to all my troubles my tear and my sigh. This ‘world’ where I roam cannot be my safest place anymore. I will leave this ‘world’ and walk and talk with My Lord and have a feast with Him everyday with His word. I have to leave this ‘world’ so that I won’t have the blues anymore. And when I step across that shore, I’ll never pine for I’ll leave behind. Good bye to each sorrow and sigh. I can’t stay here anymore. I guess it’s time for me to say good bye. I have to go out and taste the joy and all the blessed things which given to me by My Lord. I’m gonna rise and shout “WATCH UP… !!! It’s me coming back”. Sound good? Hehehehe… yeah..I feel it too.

The moment I feel down I’ll assure that is the time to rise again. Take a part in this spinning world and let go my worries in the air. I’ve always been the kind of person. Hiding my face and so afraid to tell the world. But now, I have this dream… right inside of me and I’m going to let it show. It is the time to let everybody know. There’s no way to hold it on. No more hiding who I want to be. Let this coming year reveal myself. I’m tired to keep on hold for something that I want to be. So, this is my promise to myself…my Christmas wouldn’t be the same as before. There is hoping spirit in me. I will roar like a lion in a dessert and fly like an eagle with Armour of God ….whoaahahhaa…

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Sunday Walk..The 'Flashback'

I feel so exhausted for this couple of weeks. And today, I managed to go out with my loved one ^_^ to have a brunch and take a walk at 1Borneo. Both of us feel so tired and tension for almost a month. Just to take a fresh air and to ease our mind for tomorrow. Yes..tomorrow the battle of mind will tension. Okey forget about that STRESS..hehhehe. I've taken a few pic during our 'walk' at 1Borneo. Amazingly, most of the shop..I guess 90% of the shops already put up some Christmas decorations and played a Christmas Carol..!!.. I'm yet to feel the spirit of Christmas..emm..maybe because the 'battle of mind' has not over yet. But I'm really sure..I will feel it in next few days.

What make me suddenly recall my youngest days ( I'm too old already) is a lots of young couple enjoyed their Sunday, watch movie and etc. They never care what others think about them. They laughing and talk loudly. Like this world is their own. But I feel happy looking at their smiles and 'loving-loving attitude' wakakakaa...good for them!! At least they will have something to remembered on their old days. I remembered how I enjoyed with that loving moment..hehehhe..crazy in love...boys chasing girls, girls in love and broken heart. Muzic, movies, clothings, handphone...hahahha..
Christmas..Christmas..Christmas is around the corner. I guess I've to start thinking about a Christmas present now..hahahhaa..will someone or anybody give me a present this year? hehehehe

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Way Back...

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need them again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night
I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart againI guess
I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

Saturday, November 22, 2008

My Bad Day..

Emm..this is what I get since being busy for a month. Busy with workloads, busy with my exam, busy with my church activities and busy with my own personal things. Additional with some irritating attitude of friends, unacceptable act and words..fuuuhh..really make me sick. Hopefully I'll get over it in ASAP. I've taken a leave from my works just for few days but in a last minutes they asked me to cancelled!! luckly I dont have enough strength to fight. Further I'm a good employee..hhhehe..I know my responsibility and commitment that I have to contribute in this season of time. At least they agreed to let me choose another day to replace it. Well..I need to fully utilized my leave next week..for 2 days only prepared myself to enter the exam hall. I'm tired of this but I'm too ambitious and once I set my goal not easy for me to break it. One of my weaknesses hehehhe..and one of my strength too..
Maybe I can called this is my bad day too..why? In this season of time, I keep sick a lot..fever,flu,dizzy, migrain, cant sleep well, vomitting (the simptom of stress). And I dont care about my look now. My hair looks like melting plastic..eeewwhh.. panda's eye..huhuuu..pale..dont want to say more la...hehehehhe

Monday, November 17, 2008

Thank You

Hola-hooola thank you to all my friends who have wished my 'golden age' wakakakakaka...especially to my blogger friends..hey remember I did not catogerized you all as a 'blogger friends' are my gifted friends..really love you all...And thanks for all the supports that I received.

For those my colleagues who was really enjoyed that night..wooo aramatieeeee...memang kamu semua ganas-ganas especially for the ladies. I'm surprised..heheheeeee. Feel me still young..wakakkaka...a lot of 'sexy-sexy' dance has been recorded..hahahha..can I upload tu youtube? hehehheheh....

Well, thank you for someone ^_^ for the beautiful roses I received. Sorry for the picture..a bit blur and yes..kena panas sudah hahahha..berspa dalam kereta for few hours..thanks and I really mean it..^_^ are ^_^ sweet.

The most important, I want to thanked God..all the blessings..all the trials that I've been make me strong..^_^..

Sunday, November 16, 2008

My 17 November Birthday Mean

Your Birthdate: November 17

You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life.

My comment: I feel so grateful what I have now..but sometimes I do feel 'broken' because of that

And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others.

My Comment: Yeah..that is very true..

You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented.

My Comment: I cant hide it..It's very true

Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage.

My Comment: Especially in finance matter wakakakkaka...true

Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck

My Comment: I'm Independent person and always do anything/everything in my own ways

Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all

My Comment: Well...refer my comment above. What you expect then? hehehehe

Your power color: Bronze

My Comment: Wow..really no idea what is this

Your power symbol: Half Moon

My Comment: Err..I dont know this..all I know 'charm' only comes out when everybody seems to take 'rest' it?

Your power month: August

My Comment: No Idea..hehehhe

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Being Betrayed

Few things in this world hurt like a broken heart. It's the blow that we never see coming: a longtime friend turns their back on us. Someone we love rejects and betrayed us. Someone we have let into the deepest, most private corners of our heart says or does something to hurt us when we in vulnerable position. The situations that sometimes make me died inside and jeopardize my works, my study, my relationship and my future.

Painful as it is, the broken heart is here to stay. It is part of being human, and it's a sometimes bitter reminder of how important our relationships are to us. Our need to connect with other people is hardwired into us. And that's the heart of the problem--we're forming relationships with people, who sometimes make mistakes, act cruelly, or just go away.

Is the solution to avoid other people altogether, to harden our hearts against relationships that might disappoint or hurt us..again? Am we willing to throw out the joy that relationships can bring to avoid the possibility of pain down the road? Is it possible to experience love without the fear of loss and hurt, without the fear that we'll be let down in the end?

And now I’m here again, counting the drops of the past. Looking for something to get connected to the future. Wishing the pasts will heals itself. Wishing for those who feeling hurts a being delivered. Coz, from there we both know the meaning of friendship and the worth of loves in our lives. And the moment of truth will reveal itself. Those times will never coming back but will go along with our journey. Thank you for those ‘moment’ which keep me build a confidence to live without fear.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I've Been Tagged By Beck

I've been tagged by Beck..and it's tagging time now..hahhahaa 

A. Attached or single?

-Emm..I choose single la..kehkehkehkeh

B. Best friend?

-I have few categorized bestfriend..hehehheeh

C. Cake or pie?

-I choose cake

D. Day of choice?

-Everyday except weekend..reason? hahahahahha

E. Essential item?

-Something can generate and rejuvenate my mind, thought and ideas

F. Favorite color?

-Black, blue, light green and grey

G. Gummy bears or worms?


H. Hometown?

 -Kota Belud-Ranau-Kota Kinabalu hehhee

I. Favorite indulgence?

-Choclate, ice cream, movies, muzic

J. January or July?

-I prefer January, everything is new and still in motivated mood

K. Kids?

-I really loves kids..I want kids from my own if can hehehehe..

L. Life isn’t complete without?

-Praising and praying

M. Marriage date?


N. Number of magazine subscriptions:

-Right now? Digest Readers, Journal Accountancy and some direct selling mag (free mah..)

O. Oranges or apples?


P. Phobias?

-Water (coz I cant swim!!) and all slimy things like cacing tanah..I really cant take it

Q. Quotes????

-Its all about loves and lifes!!!

R. Reasons to smile?

-Happy, sad, hiding something…hehehhee

S. Season of choice?

-Christmas and public holiday.. hehhehehe

T. Tag 5 people.

-Bambangan, aki, Huguan, Leads, Vic hehehehhe ( I guess they haven’t being tagged yet)

U. Unknown fact about me?

-My thinking and my ways

V. Vegetable?

-No taugeh please…..!!!!

W. Worst habit?

-I can sleep for whole day!!!..hehehehe

X. X-ray or ultrasound?

-Both no

Y. Your favorite foods?

-I never specify long is delicious heheheheh

Z. Zodiac sign?

-I’m scorpio..the greatest of all..and my birthday is coming soon!!! hehehehehe


Tuesday, November 11, 2008


In every moment of life I saw you there .I dont know who you are, but you always there and you did tried your best to understand me, reaches me everytime I fall. I thankful for that. I dont need an eyes to see you coz I can feel your presence. You are my friend-God give you to me. Thank you for being my friend. We chat everyday thru sorrow and happiness... are in sadness, sorrow and hurts I wish I can erase away your pains. I really meant to. But just remember, I always there for you. If you are lonely and need a friend..I'm here. When troubles seems like never end, just remember to keep faith and love will be there to light the way. Even you miles away, I'm by your side, by virtue or by presence..for sure I'm by your side. So dont ever feel lonely, love will make it right. When the shadows are closing in and your spirit diminishing, remember you not alone and love will be there to guide you home. You can always cry on my shoulders.

Dedicated to my special friend..dont worry every thing happens come with purposes. We might not undertsand it now..but for sure..the answers is always there. Smile sweet (Leads)

Monday, November 10, 2008

To Look Busy and Important

My friends always asked me..why Im always look busy and sometimes looks like a zombi. I'm telling them a truth that I'm really busy..I hope that I can have work without strange stress. I'm really stress until I cant sleep well at night!!. Am I pretending? not at all..huhuuu..believe me..why I can keep blogging even I'm busy? hehehhehe..thats the way how I chill out dude..hehhehehe. Okey, my friends asked to look 'busy' so that they can feel how I feel now..(so good they have plenty a time at their works..) . Lets try this..hehehhehee..for those my 'geng karas' there..pandai2lah kamu main peranan..hehehehe.

Walk with 'baggage'

If we walk with documents looks like we are hardworking and headed to important meetings. Walk with ear phone and keep talking while your hand busy tackling your Ipod show that you are rushing for something greatly important. To show everybody how busy you are, then carry of office stuff to home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you really do.

Computer is the best buddy

Whoever spends a lot time at the computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about, but they're not bad either. But if you get caught by your boss -- and you will get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus save a cost of training. Hehhehehee…

Table with junks

Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives. Then they know how busy you are. Try to bury your fixed line phone in the piles of the documents. And when its ringing..ask them to help you to find it..wakakakkkaa

Make sure your phone keep ringing till reach to mail box

Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing -- they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there -- it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

Show your impatient attitude

Show your colleagues and bosses that you are always in ‘rush’

Don’t walk home early

Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. If you got nothing to do then, go blogging hehehehe


Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

Full use your work space

It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books or file on the floor and make no way for others to go in. Let them think twice to enter your space…hehhehehe

It's all crap only..better dont do it go and spend your time for something you like..hehhehehe...I wish I could do the same hehehehhe...pretending busy..huhuuuuu...I cant sleep..stress maybe..exam is nearer..workload is heat..oh no

The Hearts Of Love

Since this few days, I've heard and listened all about this thingy things called 'love' from friends. Hurts, heart broken and all kinds related to 'loves' matter. I dont know what to say or advice as I'm not good in advising especially in 'heart to heart talk'. I keep saying to them 'I know how is feel' which I think kind of stupid. Yes, I do undertstand and feel how hurts is it. I've been through it before. But the way I feel might not be the same as others. When I'm trying to give an advise..feel like I'm talking to myself. But for sure I know how its feel. Hehehheeee..since I'm not really good in talking or give something like 'comforting words' so I decide to shared this stories to them (and to all of you). Lets us view it from different angles..maybe it works..   

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley.

A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces missing.

The people stared. How can he say his heart is more beautiful?? they thought. The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you.

You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges - giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands.

The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man’s heart flowed into his. They embraced and walked away side by side.

You see.. the more hurt and pain we have gone thru in this life, the stronger and more beautiful our heart will be. We also will appreciate what we have and will keep it as how we keep our lives.

Be Blessed to all of my friends out there...Love you all..

Saturday, November 8, 2008



I have an extra extra extra times for you to hold this weekend..

Friday, November 7, 2008

Live In Love

Have you ever wondered whatever you do or say it gives back to you? Some people called this is an echos but the fact is, it is life. It gives back everything we say or do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions. To me..if we want more love in this world, then create more love in our heart. If we want a perfect love then retouched it and put more coloured in the way we love others. This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life. Life will gives us back everything we have given to it. Feel good about it coz everyday there is an action of giving and taking back. If you want to dream for tomorrow then dream it now...dont wait coz the longer you wait..the more complicated it will be. Enjoy every moment of our life. Celebrate our life each day and spread the love around. At this moment we did feel love right? hehhehe..Today we giving love, tomorrow we get back love.
Love is like this...give and getting back..shared and be blessed.


Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Somewhere there is someone that dreams of you SMILE, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile, so when you feel lonely remember it's true, someone..somewhere is thinking of you.

For everything there is a season,And a time for every matter under heaven:A time to be born, and a time to die;A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;A time to kill, and a time to heal;A time to break down, and a time to build up;A time to weep, and a time to laugh;A time to mourn, and a time to dance;A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;A time to seek, and a time to lose;A time to keep, and a time to throw away;A time to, and a time to sew;A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;A time to love, and a time to hate,A time for war, and a time for peace.

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

I dedicated this to all my friends out there...

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Hello November...

I start my day with a 'little breakfast' hehehehe..almost forgot my goals to keep in healthy diet..I drink a cup of cappucino and eat a slice of cakes..hahhahaa and my friend took a heavy breakfast!!

Its November...time past so fast and now we are heading to the end of 2008!!! Can you all imagine it? hehehehe... I still can feel the warmness of last I'm going to planned my day for November before I wasted it again..hehhehee.

I got nothing much to say..I wake up this morning with a heart of joy..why? because it is November, a month full of battles for me. What are going to happen in November? first thing I know, I'll be another year old This November also are hallowen day for those 'who' celebrate it..but remember for those Catholic out there, we celebrating All Saints and All Souls day today..hehehhe. Just a little reminder. Emm..Advent is coming means that we are preparing for Christmas..hahhaha..I cant wait. I love Christmas. I love the season of warmness, togetherness and what else? changing gifts lor..hehehehe. Looks like I need to spend a little extra $$$ in my budget this year for an additional persons in my list ^_^. And of course for my newborn nephew..hehehhe..what do you think anyway? I also want to catch a latest movies which are going to release this November. Such as James Bond 007 The Quantom of Solace, Madagascar Escape to Africa, The Guitar, Twilight and etc. That is how I chill out..!!!. Feel boring? not at all..I love watch movie and eat some popcorn and pepsi..hahhaha..again not a healthy food huh?
This November I will get busy again. Especially with my works..audit again..boring. But what to do? do the best lor..hehhehehe. Not to mention I need to prepare for my coming exam in early December..wahh..means this November I'm going to have that 'panda look' again..hehehhe.
Emm...I guess most of my friends have their own planning for this November. I hope everything will be fine...Good Luck everybody and Happy Saturday!!! Rock out frens!!!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

A Season Of Change?

Sitting on my chair and looking out of the windows from my very own office space this Thursday afternoon without having my lunch, I am reminded how much of life is about to change. Much like the seasons change every year, so do my lives. It is subtle sometimes, barely noticeable but always constant, always a part of me. Other times, the changes in my lives are like the changing of the leaves, a bit at a time but then a sudden, bright explosion of color.  

Am I preparing enough for the fact that may and probably will change sometime in my life? Am I making the best of every opportunity that I have now to embrace life and to grow in my relationship with my families, friends and especially to God? Am I doing things now that I’ve always dreamed of doing, embracing the opportunity to do them without the responsibilities of a relationship hanging over?  Am I will ever again have this season in my life because things will change..again?. I may meet someone special, I may have a new career opportunity, I may build a new dream again..again and again…?

I viewed this as a challenge for me not to let this ‘season’ in my lives be wasted. Because I realized that I need to embrace every opportunity that God brings to me to live my life to the fullest. Take that trip that I always wanted to take, learn how to ‘live’ again, stick to the goals and diet routine that I’ve started last week, pursue that dream career and buying an asset that I planned for so long..hehehehhe .

What ever it may be, I remind myself calmly GO FOR IT! Become disciplined enough to have what it takes to make those dreams come true. Life is much too short to spend it waiting. I want  to be women after God’s heart that are not afraid to live life to the fullest and embrace the changes in my lives as they come. 

So friends, how do you address change in your life? Do you embrace it and squeeze every moment out of it, learning from the changes and letting them make you a better person or do you hide from it, resenting the fact that life does change?  Emm..I should ask this question to myself either hehehehe…Have a blessed day…. !!!!

I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received 
(Ephesians 4:1)