12 Days Before Christmas..Where Is The Spirit?

Where is my Christmas spirit? It’s seems to have run away. I don’t feel much like celebrating. I have no present wrapped and not even do the shopping.. not like before I’m so excited if December come. What happened to me? And it’s so close to Christmas day (it is 12 days to Christmas…huh?..) No light deco, no Christmas music, no warmness of Christmas at my office and..NOT even at home? Where my spirits of Christmas go? Is someone or anybody trying to take Christ from me?

How to get into Christmas spirit again? Is it too late now? Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace, love and goodwill to all. But with all the stress and bad emotion in this season, I end up feeling more like Mr. Grinch who wants to steal the Christmas mood from everyone.  My nephew, niece, sisters, brother and mum must be upset of me because every year I’m the one who always started the ‘Christmas mood’. I’m so sorry.. feel too bad and pity of myself.  Every year I yearn for the Christmas feeling that we are family used to have - the one that is brought to mind by silver bells, Christmas tree, present wrapped with colorful paper, exchange gifts, greeting cards, simple wine and of course a Christmas dinner..

Well, maybe I should go out to the malls, participate with the commotion out there. Try to enjoy with the crowd and make myself busy with gifts. What else? I don’t know. Or maybe watch some movies relate to Christmas feeling.. right? Oh God, guide me again to the meaning of the Christmas. It’s seems faded away… uncontrollable. I may never find all the answers and I may never understand why. But I know that I still have to try.