Finding myself

Looking back 10 years ago…I questioned myself, what I am going to be in 10 years time… Looking back my old black diary 10 years ago make me realized one thing.. the excitement, which hardly to find in myself now…

And now I question myself again, who, what and where I am in 10 years time from now… looking back all the dreams written in the old black diary, something inside urge me to make it real though some of it looks impossible ..hehhehee…

Someone emailed me the so called yearly horoscope (I don’t believe this but good for alertness hehehehhe) that I’m not doing really good this year except in my career. So, must focus in my career for stable income, reputation and recognition. Money ~ Not good for short-term investment, spend wisely, no lottery or windfall luck. Love unstable, up and down. Health~ need to pay attention in my safety while I’m not home, need to visit doctor regularly (which I hate to), take care more people at my home despite on my busy career. In other words, I only have a fair luck in this year of tiger hehehhee…the major events its only related to my career and reputation….sigh..

Despite a lot of struggle and juggling in my life … disappointment, non-acceptance, heart break, loss and much more it doesn’t stop me to ‘dream again’ hehehhee.. thank you for long holiday CNY which give me a time to clear my wardrobe and found my old diary. Looking back for excitement in life, try everything which will cross my mind, try to make it real… spread my wings and fly.. thank you to those who make me braved and strong again, thank you to those who let me down coz it will make me stand again…

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

Yeah, when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah, when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

Yeah, when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah, when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my Maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of His amazing grace

Yeah, when I get where I'm going
Oh, when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear

When I get where I'm going
Yeah, when I get where I'm going