Too Nice Could Hurt You

Being too nice could hurt you. I agree with this phrase. Through my own experience and observation of people lives, I saw this happened in workplace, relationship and lots more. You could be treated and labelled as a doormat to serve their purposes or bullied for their own pleasures. 

Being nice amongst friends or family will definitely earn a title of ‘good friend or buddy’ or sometimes labelled as a friend who will accept anything and everything thrown at. To serve the title of ‘good friend or good buddy’ you will run around to help your friends in needs. Sometimes this could lead to bullying. Have you ever experience that your opinion are not matter to them? Or you become practical jokes because they expect you will never retaliate? Or being put in front of fighting or argument because you are too nice to be ‘punch’? 

In workplace, I encountered some colleagues took advantage by trying to offload their share of work, bosses gives more work and you’ll received tons of compliments like ‘nice job! You are the man! I count on you!’ Through years of observation, being nice could cause you lost your opportunity of promotion. Why? Because you are too nice to be a Leader/Manager! Nice person usually don’t make a great managers. 

Everyone dreamed to have a romantic and nice partner because it is compliment to each other. But sometimes this habit may backfire you because you have to be ‘nice’ in every situations!. Sound not good? Have you ever feel that you are the one who always to bow down or taking the blame out of arguments? Or your partner takes off any of the plans ahead without asking you? Or find yourself doing all the works by thinking it is your responsibilities because you must be nice to your partner?. You may not see the signs that your partner is taking advantage on you. He/she will not respect your opinion or not even discuss any matters to you because your partner may take you for granted thinking like “He/she is too nice, He/she won’t say anything, He/she will accept no matter what I say,”. 

I know being nice to people around you is a right thing to do because life is about spreading love and sharing joy. But life is not a fairytales and hardly to see ‘happily ever after’ moments. In this century everyone are opt to coloured their own life. Climb our own ‘ladder’ of life. Our niceness could harm our way. The obvious ‘harm’ is people may take emotional, moral or financial advantage on you simply because you are being nice and don’t have the heart to say no. It’s happened to me before. Not just that, my voice or complain for the lack of service or faulty product are not being ‘heard’. 

Wonder why I wrote this post? Above situations happened in front of my nose this morning. Blessed to those nice persons and screwed to those bullies!!

What a Life

I remembered 10 years ago when someone asked me if I have free time to come over to their party. Having a good food and movies with them, and my answers always 'YES'. Now I bet everyone (especially those in my range of age..lol) will gives this unanimous answer 'BUSY'. The response is almost programmed and without thinking. I must admit that 'busy' has been my response for years now..sighs. Come to think again, how did we all of sudden find ourselves in a society where busy was the most acceptable way to be spending time?

Few days ago while having a quick coffee with friend (but it turned to long conversation hehe), we've talked about being busy. This happened when she thanked me for meeting on such short notice by saying "I can't believed you could make time for me with how busy you must be". Am I that busy? Well everyone assumes everyone is so busy. Through the conversation, we realized that we forgot being busy was never a goal. We are not live to be busy. God has created such a wonderful place for us to stay, build a relationship, experience life, go places and create moments, help others or anything our heart desired. 

I have a feeling that none of us feel we are here to be busy. I do not believe being busy is worth of time because sometimes we might get caught up being busy doing worthless things. Life in this business world sadly has trained us this way as employee which expected to put in 8-12 hours of work a day. But since I 'must' seem busy, I fill the time with Facebook, chatting, web surfing or any other online life. This is not helping me to connect with others...not in a healthy way. I come to realized that busy is simply state of mind which causes more stress, unhappiness and wasted energy. Luckily, I convert it all by being socially active in church. Helping the parish and parishioners in all way I can. The gifts that I received from Almighty are meant to be shared with this community even though I received much of negatives comments (or should I say 'gossip') from some peoples. I have to accept in this crooked world, there is no perfect word/things can satisfied people especially in the unhealthy state of minds.

I think to enjoyed the weight that gets lifted our back is by changing our focus and not to be too busy to serve our purpose. I have full schedule this past few months and I mapped out my calendar to be sure it all fit without realized I'm putting myself in that 'caught up situation' again..sigh. Life can never be too busy for the things that matter most to you. If you don't have time for those, the busywork or life won't matter anyway. I am done being busy. Someone have to remind me.. everytime. I need to be alarmed about this..lol. How I wished to have a button that can trigger level of busyness to the normal and easy life. Hope someone can invent this so that 'busy' is no longer my response to life..just saying..hahahaa.   

Its My Life..

Almost a month did not update my blog..sigh..

Tense is around me at this moment. Sometimes I can’t think anything but sleep and have a good sip of coffee. Everyday waiting for weekend to come by hoping it will be a relaxing weekend. I do enjoy the weekend but I was too tired to enjoy it. All I want is a good foods and body pampering. Juggling with work, study and social/church activities make me want to give up..lol. Luckily I’m not a type of person that gives up too early. Don’t blame me for become so ambitious..hehehe.

People always asked me why I make my life so difficult and not enjoying more as how others woman do. I understand their perspective. For them, that ought to be enough, especially for a woman. A woman should not aim too high otherwise she might end up on the shelves. However, I beg to differ. Times have changed, and I ought to think more realistically. A challenge for woman at these eras is different. The demands for multi-skilled individual are increasing. More than ever before, basic certs cannot take you anywhere and we have to continue building up to keep up with times and stay relevant. Tough still, we still have to continue learning throughout our working life in order to keep up with the increasing demands of our professions. Its forced us to upgrades skills and knowledge to move forward.

Friends often ask me how I juggle the stress of studying with the demands of being a full-time employee. I don’t have an answer because sometimes I totally can’t use my own personal organizer!! And that’s delaying my progress. At this point some of the ‘birds’ out there will start singing and laughing looking at me. Who care!! I live and drive my own life. I always whispered to myself ‘there is always a way to overcome it’. Yeah.. if God allowed U-Turn why Can’t I? LOL… Yet, some of my friends often find it hard to accept my incredibly hectic routine. To them, I have no life! Some of them worried. But, unfortunately this is something that many in my generation have to live with for careers to progress.

Life must go on..handle it with faith..

I'm a Woman

GOD CREATING WOMAN

While creating woman, GOD is working over time in the day sixth.

ANGEL: Why it takes so long, MY LORD?

GOD: Have you seen each details I made while creating her? These 2 hands have to be clean, but not made from plastics. At least made from 200 parts that could move and work well for each type of food. Could guard as many children in the same time. Have hugs that could cure disappointments and agony. And everything could be done only by these two hands

ANGEL: Only by two hands?....impossible! And that is a standard model?!Ok MY LORD, I think it's enough for today, we can continue to complete it tomorrow

GOD: Oh... No, I will complete this creation today, because it's MY best creation. Moreover, she could also cure herself and could work 18 hours in a day.

Angels come closer and see her performance and look to the woman that being created by GOD.

ANGEL: But YOU made her so soft MY LORD?"

GOD: Yup.. I made her so soft. But you haven't imagined yet the power I gave, so she could solve so many problems amazingly.

ANGEL: Could she think?

GOD: Not only thinking, she could also negotiating

Those angels then touching her chin....

ANGEL: MY LORD, YOU made this creation looked tired and fragile! Seems like too much weight for her.

GOD: That's not tired or fragile....that's tears

ANGEL: What does it for?

GOD: Tears are perfect way for her to express her grief, doubt, happiness, sadness, love, loneliness, agony and pride

ANGEL: It's awesome, YOU are so genius MY LORD. YOU are thinking detailly for her; your created woman is going to be greatly very fabulous!

This woman will have power to appeal men. She could handle problem even more than man. She can save her own happiness and opinion. She can smile even though when her heart is howling. Could sing when crying. Crying when crumple, even laughing when frightened. She sacrifices herself for people she loved. Could stand up against unfairness. She does not reject to see something better. She jumps herself for her family. She takes her sick friends to the treatment.

Her love is without requirement. She is crying when seeing her son become the winner. She is so bright and cheerful seeing her friends laughing. She is so cheery when hearing a birth. Hear heart is so sad seeing someone sick and obituary. But she always has the power to overcome each of life problems. She knows that a kiss and a hug could heal up the hurts.

There is only one thing wrong with the woman: She forgets what she is WORTH.

Appreciate every woman in your/our life. Every day, every minutes not just on WOMAN DAY. She always stand her ground. Sometimes down but will stand tall again.

By the way, Happy Woman Day!! as a woman, I want to thanks to every single persons in my life because you all has showed me, how worthy I am. Time is hard and that is make how worthy journey is. God Bless you all..

Be True To Yourself..

Breakthrough in understanding and action has transformed our life and brought fulfilment.

The joy of giving is as great as the joy of receiving.

So never afraid to stay true to yourself..

20102010 Blessed Birthday

Today is wonderful day because the 20102010 date. Most of my friends excited to buy a tickets (who knows..jackpot..hehhee). Some celebrating their new age!! and for those whose celebrating their birthday today, I would like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday and God Bless..

Don't worry about that extra line
That's creeping up upon your face
It's just a part of nature's way
To say you've grown a little more
Trees have rings and thicker branches
Kids shoes get a little tighter
Every year we're getting closer to who we're gonna be
It's time to celebrate the story of how you've come to be

Happy birthday my friend
Here's to all the years we've shared together
All the fun we've had
You're such a blessing
Such a joy in my life
May the good Lord bless you
And may all your dreams come true

So light a candle on your cake
For every smile you've helped create
For every heart and every soul
You've known to grow a little more
A few more pounds, a little more grey
Don't count the years just count the way
It takes a little time to go from water into wine
Don't ever lose the wonder of the child within your eyes

Happy birthday my friend
Here's to all the years we've shared together
All the fun we've had
It's such a blessing
Such a joy in my life
May the good Lord bless you
And may all your dreams come true

Friday - Weekend

Finally it's Friday..have you plan your weekend guys??.. hehehe..

Thanks to my good friend!! hehehehe.. I got this..YES!!

Emm.. as I mentioned earlier..I'll be part of this... looking for good or new books..lol..

Finally..hahahaa...!!!!!


My virtual barn... hope one day I can have the real one..

BY THE WAY..ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND.. see next week..hahaha...

Alone and Independence..

What is being alone means to me?? To me word ‘alone’ are doing something without accompany of anybody. Almost all the time I dine alone, shopping and buy groceries alone, watch tv-movies alone especially on weekend, went to mass alone, study alone, driving alone and sleep alone.. lol ^-^. For some reason, I prefer to be alone. I can stay in the library with a books for 5 hours straight all by myself. Well…the only thing I want to learn now is to live alone because all of my years I lived with family. I’ll move out soon and live alone. And again I want to do things alone. I have everything in planned. One thing I’m very sure about myself is.. I’m independence in a kind of way.

By the way, I’m not introvert or loner. In fact I like talking (I think this is my traits and I cant stop talking.. non-stop.. I should become a politician hehhe..) hang out with friends and try new things together. Thinking to meet new peoples, coz I think my friends are tired of listening to me..hahhaha.

I am alone most of the time because I don’t really have a choice. Being single (and mingle too… J ) and with only my colleagues, I usually do things on my own and I like it. Sometimes I feel good coz I don’t have to argue with anybody about something or trying hard to ‘buy’ their hearts. The best things is I can do anything without thinking of what the other person might say.

But not all the time being alone is good…take me for example, I like talking…if I alone then whom I want to talk to?. The only things could shut me up is a books… hehhee. So I had decided and enrolled or should I say renewed myself again as a library member after 10 years being expelled from the list…why? My card expired. New to me, no more plastic card to identified you as a member but with an Identity Card. I borrowed a bunch of books to read for this coming weekend and thinking to lock myself in a room. Should I buy some Pringles and cappuccino to complete it? Hehehe...

While we are in the corner of celebrating Independence Day, I want to take this opportunity to wish all Malaysian ‘Happy Independence Day’ and psssttt.. declaring my weekend independence too.. hehehe..

Random Me...

Great Woman..

Feel inspired by them...lol..

DON’T BE AFRAID TO CHALLENGE
Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.
— Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood

DON’T GIVE UP
Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong.
— Ella Fitzgerald, African-American Jazz singer

REVEAL YOUR BEAUTY
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
— Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, author of "On Death and Dying"

LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT
Don't let anyone rob you of your imagination, your creativity, or your curiosity. It's your place in the world; it's your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live.
— Mae C. Jemison, first African-American woman astronaut

DARE TO DREAM
Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.
— Gloria Steinem, American journalist and political activist

NURTURE & TRANSFORM
A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture, and transform.
— Diane Mariechild, author of "Mother of Wit"

DIMINISH FEAR
I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.
— Rosa Parks, African-American civil rights activist

AGING IS OPPURTUNITY
Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength.
— Betty Friedan, author of "The Feminine Mystique

TOUCH THE SKY
We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise;
And then, if we are true to plan,
Our statures touch the skies.
— Emily Dickinson, American poet

HAVE COURAGE
The best protection any woman can have...is courage.
— Elizabeth Cady Stanton, American abolitionist

BE INDIPENDENT
I think the girl who is able to earn her own living and pay her own way should be as happy as anybody on earth. The sense of independence and security is very sweet.
— Susan B. Anthony, American suffragette and advocate of women's rights

WORK HARD

Hard work keeps the wrinkles out of the mind and spirit.
— Helena Rubenstein, Polish cosmetics industrialist

MAKE OTHERS FEEL GOOD
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
— Maya Angelou, African-American poet

IT’S OK TO FAIL
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
— Beverly Sills, former American opera soprano

It's good to read some inspiring quotes when you feel down and less couraged.. :)

Respect Woman

Wake up this morning a bit early normally I don’t especially on Sunday ..hehehe… actually alerted by alarm clock. I tuned on my radio… and the radio DJ wished all the woman..HAPPY WOMAN’S DAY..

I‘ve planned my day today. I make my way to library this morning as early 8.30am.. lol.. I know is not easy to look for parking space especially on Sunday..Tamu at Gaya Street. But have faith.. I must look for it and yes I did it!!..what a wonderful day. Library open at 9.00am. To ‘killed’ the time.. I look for something spicy to eat and it could be my only meal till evening hehhee.. while waiting for my order to be serve, I tuned on my hp radio

While enjoying my music, I got distracted with the sound of yelling and rough words. As I turn my head to the sound.. I got shocked!! The incident of ‘tampar-menampar’…OMG. I saw a big guy hit the small lady..as small as me hehhee. Anyway, back to the story.. I’m not really understand what is all about but from what are they yelling for is about a jealousy and misunderstanding. The guy pushed and kicked the girl!!.. a few people have tried to stop the guy . The guy yelled at the girl by saying she is ‘cheap woman’ and the girl replied ‘If you love me, why don’t you marry me? What? you think I’m a …. bla bla bla.’ something like that… this drama run for about 10minutes. I feel pity with the girl as she’s been kicked down to the floor (mentang2lah lelaki tu besar..). Please do respect woman!!

Really killed my mood of eating. I feel ashamed with it. Where’s all the passion, dignity and humility stand? It’s only become a laughing stock to others..

Fashions Rage!!

I feel bored. ‘To wake me up’ I’m surfing internet and go to fashion web. To my surprised… the see-thru fashions is back!! But with different perspective.  I dared not to wear it..  lol.. how bout your girls?

Sooner or later these fashions will come to Asia.. possible to Malaysia.. and then to KK…

What you see above are not see-thru skirts. They are actually prints on the skirts to make it look as if the panties are visible and these are the current rage in Japan. 

My personal opinions, this kind of fashions are one of the world sickness..attempting for crime..rape? possible. Giving a bad image to young peoples especially in fashion industries. What for the Fashion Designer Course if they no need any cloths? Even though they said it's a printed skirts, but possible in a future... they would not need any cloth!!! just a tattoo? or painted skin? think about it. What else... an exploitation to woman? craved for $$$ to go into the fashions?

What do you think about the fashion now? would you die for it? hehehehe.... 

Seven Signs to say you are

QUEEN BEE

-You cried the first time you fired someone, but these days, you recognise it as a necessary part of the job

-Having a drink with a team after work on Fridays is regular practise because its boost morale

-You have no problem delegating works, chairing meetings and organising work shifts and responsibilities

-Your wardrobe is full of practical but chic suits and shoes

-Your arrive earlier and leave later than everyone else in the office and you seldom take all the holidays you're entitled to

-The idea is making major business decisions ie exciting to you, and you want the authority to make the choices that will take the company to the top

-When you pull off a major coup, you praise the team. Bad decisions, however, are your problem

SENIOR EXECUTIVE

-Your work overtime on a regular basis, but you'll do overtime on holidays or weekends only if there's a real crisis

-You socialise regularly with colleagues so you can network and pick up office gossip

-When the firm hires new staff, you're usually part of the interview team

-You want a little kingdom of your own, but not the major responsibilities big bosses have

-Thanks to your networking skills, you're always on of the forst to know about changes in the company

-When you delegate work, you find yourself constatnly double-checking whether it is being done right

-Although you make some important decisions, you prefer to discuss them with colleagues beforehand

9-to-5 GIRL

-Your working day never varies, but it doesnt bother you. You expect work to be dull

-Socialising with collegues is your idea of hell, but you might turn up for the annual office party

-If there's sudden meeting with an important client, you'll have to go home and change

-You cant imagine having to fire someone, and you dont ever want to know what that's like

-You never do overtimne if you can help it. When the clock strikes five, you've already halfway out of the door.

-When your best firend turns up at the office in tears, you immediately stop work and take a long lunch break

-Making important decisions isn't a part of your job and you're glad about it!!

So girls which one are you? Tengok2 macam sya ni 70% of Senior Exe and 30% of Queen Bee....wakakakkakak