They asked 'How it Feels to be Married'

I got married just over 2 weeks ago and things pretty much feel the same so far. I've been wondering if it's going to feel different, and when, but I'm guessing it's one of those things where you don't see the transformation until after it's happened. For the first time, I did just check the box for "married" on an assessment form and it was fun

I began to see that yes, things were different now, and I felt a little different, but life as part of a married couple was not so radically different that I needed to lay in bed freaking out about it. He is still he, and I was still me. And yes, there was the new element of us being legally bound to one another, and yes it was really weird to think about it. But as the day continued I believed we will settle back into our normal lives. There was a time we playfully called each other husband and wife, testing out the words errr.. a bit weird but fun. 

Sometimes I wonder how capable I am in adjusting myself to be someone wife’s especially if he is not staying with me. He worked in peninsula while I’m still here. Although we have discussed about it but the feeling of wanting to have a normal marriage life (husband and wife in a same house) are very strong. Now I’m staying with in laws and they are very supportive. I’m letting God to work His mighty hand on us. Really hope my husband could be transferred here.. 

Spiritual Weekend at Pace Bene

Last weekend I joined and involved in LSS (Life in a Spirit Seminar) for two days for the Baptism and Confirmation student at Pace Bene Retreat Centre at Papar Kota Kinabalu. More than 100 has participated in this program. CCR Group from my parish has given a mandate to do the talk and service to them.

As one of the member in this group, I feel delighted to witness the spirit and determination of the participant to let us guide their journey in spiritual way and at the same time renewal in spirit to our group. 

The statue of the founder of FSIC of Mgr August Wacher

Beautiful landscape around the retreat centre

Franciscan Convent

Biography of the founder of FSIC (Mgr August Wacher)

Going to be a great week for me this weekend and hope you the same... God bless.

A Thank You Note

A good quality in us might make a rival or enemy in a journey of success. Most people along the journey were greedy and would push you beyond the limits. People react differently in different situations. We can’t blame anyone for anything. So it is better to love them because love could change everything. From worse to better, sadness to joy, darkness to light. I don’t want to hate those people because they don’t deserve it!! They deserve to be supported, encouraged and motivated. I’m willing to ride a roller coaster with them as long they take my hand and accept the things that we can’t do it alone The world is changing does not means you have to change to be more mean than before. All you have to do is to accept the changes and embrace it.

Thank you to you who made me who I am. You have pointed out my flaws and made me realized that I could do better. You made fun on my looks, my clothes, my personality, my thoughts, my opinions and personal views. But it does not harm me because you make me take better care of myself, make me more of me than I was before.

Thank you to you because all you have done was made me stronger. You made me fight for what’s right and made me stand up for myself, pushed me in both mentally and physically, made me defend myself and tortured my soul. You have turned my tortured soul into a soul that looks forward to the brightness of new day, a soul that finds only the best in everything and everyone, a soul that forgives you and loves you that all you wanted from someone else, a soul that is willing to embrace you and understand your pain and in willing to know you better. Because you know that I far ahead beyond you now.. lol.

Wordless Wednesday (Week 3, Nov)

Huhuu... the Next Day I'll be..

Dreaming Weekend

I'm dreaming a reality... to come ...

I have a dream a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream

I have a dream

I have a dream A fantasy

To help me through Reality

And my destination Makes it worth the while

Pushing through the darkness

Still another mile

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream

I have a dream

I'll cross the stream

(ABBA - I Have a Dream)

When Nature Talks..

Sometimes it's good to talk with the nature...

When we appreciate life, the beautiful of the nature spokes to us...

Listen to them.... feel it with your heart... touch it with your eyes...

And surrendered to the beauty of the Creator...

The sweetness in silence..

Sometimes I look around me, and I can see all of the sadness and the suffering. Sometimes, I think that this is what true loveliness is; the pain encased within each person's self. But then I wonder if this only a delusion that clings to my own self-loathing because of the feeling of afraid for what would be happens.

Sometimes, the hope and determination become so strong within me that I can feel myself lifted up and it's as if I'm taking a deep, sweet breath of air.

Sometimes, my logic tells me that this despair is not real. I am not suffering with depression, or anxiety. No, this is nothing but a phase. Sometimes, I felt that it is just a part of me, and nothing can cure it, and these are the most hopeless days of all.

Sometimes the words don't come out right. They form in my thoughts, pure and lovely, but somewhere during the path from my mind to the paper they turn into sludge and stutter across the page, uncertain.

But always the time He stood beside me
Tell me to be brave as I’m not walk alone across the path
The moment that I think I’m lost He found me
The moment I think I’m in dark He give me light to cross the path
The moment I think I’m overwhelmed He willing to carry the burden
The moment I feel nobody care He always care-guide me
The moment I feel alone He sit right with me and listen to my jumbles words
And often the moment I feel sad and hopeless He right there smiling and show me how beautiful the world He created for

And I’m surrender to the sweetness of His acts.. in silence.. I found it.

Everybody should have his personal sounds to listen for - sounds that will make him exhilarated and alive or quite and calm.... One of the greatest sounds of them all - and to me it is a sound - is utter, complete silence. ~Andre Kostelanetz~

Going Where The Wind Blows

Friday is here...Happy holiday to all. Took a week of leave from works and daily routine and I will go to where the wind blow.. lol




Someone said life is for the taking
Here I am with my hand out waiting for a ride
I've been living on my great expectations
What good is it when I'm stranded here
And the world just passes by

Where are the signs to help me get out of this place
If I should stumble on my moment in time,
How will I know
If the story's written on my face, does it show
Am I strong enough to walk on water
Smart enough to come in out of the rain
Or am I a fool going where the wind blows

Here I sit halfway to somewhere
Thinking about what's in front of me and
what I left behind
On my own, supposed to be so easy
Is this what I've been after
Or have I lost my mind

Maybe this is my chance coming to take me away
If I should stumble on my moment in time,
How will I know
If the story's written on my face, does it show
Am I strong enough to walk on water
Smart enough to come in out of the rain
Or am I a fool going where the wind blows

Here I am walking naked through the world
Taking up space, society's child
Make room for me, make room for me,
make room for me
Am I strong enough to walk on water
Smart enough to come in out of the rain
Or am I a fool

Going where the wind blows
Going where the wind blows
Going where the wind blows
Going where the wind blows

Now It's Make Sense..

Welcoming myself to August..few more months to Christmas.. :)

People say, life is full of challenges, colours, surprises, shapes and many more..yes it is true. There is time I felt nothing and do sometimes feel full. As I acknowledge and accept it, I realized everything comes in circle (some believes it is karma..). Where is sad become joy, dark to light, zero to hero, nothing to something...

Life comes in many shapes
You think you know what you got
Until it changes

And life will take you high and low
You gotta learn how to walk
And then which way to go

Every choice you make
When you're lost
Every step you take
Has it's cause

After you clear your eyes
You'll see the light
Somewhere in the darkness
After the rain has gone
You'll feel the sun come
And though it seems your sorrow never ends
Someday it's gonna make sense

Tears you shed are all the same
When you laughed 'till you cried
Or broken down in pain

All the hours you have spent in the past
Worrying about
A thing that didn't last

Everything you saw
Played a part
In everything you are
In your heart

Someday you're gonna find the answers
To all the things you've become and all they've done
At your expense
Someday it's gonna make sense

After the rain has gone
You'll feel the sun comes
And though it seems your sorrow never ends

All that nonsense makes sense. Question have answered. Trouble makes tunes. Dead end makes way. Crying makes music. Everything are in placed.

Enjoy it...!!!

Living Simplicity

I’m pretty sure in our daily lives, we often rush through tasks by trying to get them done, finish as much as we can, speeding along in our cars to do what we need to do here and there and speed to the next destination and doing the same again and again. Unfortunately, it’s often not until we get to our final destination that we realize what madness this all about. We will feel exhausted and stressed out from the grind and the chaos and the busyness of the day. We don’t have time for what’s important to us, for what we really want to be doing, for spending time with loved ones or doing things we’re passionate about. Slowly it leads to monetary life. We see things with dollars sign and unrealized live with it. Sigh…

People don’t see things but talk things. This is what I learned through my current social life. In order to be accepted into their group you need to become one of them or at least like them. They’re pricey people not just in monetary things but spiritually world. I couldn’t accept for what the conditions offered as I believe in one thing, you are what you are. You not belong to anybody but yourself. Accept for who you are then others will accept you (or not..lol). Might sound funny to most of you but that’s what I think through observation and currently practice it. I guess, I just couldn’t have time to be bothered anymore. I don’t care as long as I know the truth and I don’t even hold it against them. So now, whatever I do, as long as I know the truth and happy about it, I don’t get bothered by what others think. Those people have more issues about themselves if they think badly about other people and the more vicious they become the unhappy them about themselves.

Living in simplicity is what I need the most.. for now hehhee. Happy for what I have and dreams for what I don’t have…yet. Hope I’m not walk too far from my route hehhe.

And that's why I turned this situation to ‘as long as I like to involve and help people, I will not hurt them or by them’ as simple as it is…lol.

What Faith Can Do

I know, it's been a while I did not write anything...here I dropped some message to all of you through this beautiful song. Every cloud there is silver lining..but you gotta find it yourself with hope, faith and love. Yes..hope will keep us moved, faith make us strong and love will keep us alive... keep walking and enjoy the journey of life... :)

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

Have a blessed day friends...

The Beauty of silence..

Starting a new day in a new month of the year is not easy. We hope for something new from others like attitude adjustment. This kind of expectation somehow becomes barriers for us to continue a fresh start. I heard a lot of sighing and complained from friends like ‘itu-itu juga perangai, tidak pandai berubah’ (their attitudes are still the same). Then I remembered one quote ‘we can’t change the weather but we can change our attitudes towards its’... something like that. This is a first week of the year, please make it feel like real New Year and stop pointing to others but look deep into ourselves...lol!!. Do not try to change others. To change the world, one must change themselves because to blame and complain will only make matters worse. Whatever you care about come with responsibilities because what we see in others show what is in ourselves.

Let peace be around us so we can avoid the negatives environment spreading. The world created by us is a reflection to show the person we are. Remember the good you find in others, is in you too. The faults you find in others are your faults as well. The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well. The beauty you see around you is your beauty.

See the best in others, and you will be your best. Give to others, and you give to yourself. Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful. Admire creativity, and you will be creative.

Love and you will be loved. Seek to understand, and you will be understood. Listen and your voice will be heard. Teach, and you will learn.

This is the beauty of silence…

Be True To Yourself..

Breakthrough in understanding and action has transformed our life and brought fulfilment.

The joy of giving is as great as the joy of receiving.

So never afraid to stay true to yourself..

Green Green Saturday

Last Saturday, I decided to bring my nephews, niece and family's to The Green Connection as weekend activities. It' s just 5 minutes drive from my house. It has been launch for 5 months. It is an amazing biodiversity of habitats of Sabah. It is an eco theme park displaying the wonders of nature from Sabah. I've took hundred pictures of it but just shared few of it. Too much to upload hehhe. There is a lot of rare plants and animals. Could not managed to took pictures of the plants as I'm more interested an aquatic life hehehehe...

By the way, here is the map to go there.

It also includes a science and discovery center with interactive hands-on modules which are not only fun but educational for children. Spend for almost an hour there. The kids love it so much. Happy for them.

The aim of the project is to promote environmental awareness by exhibiting the ecosystems of Borneo and highlighting both the threats they face and the desperate need to conserve the ecosystems as well as the animals who live there

This project's are under NGO funded by HSBC, Yayasan Sabah and other Educational Group's. Feel lucky because it happened I meet the woman (I think she is an Aussie) who managed this projects. They are still in progressing of 'keeping-safe' the mega-biodiversity of what the nature hold for us.

Personally, I think we as a local-Malaysian should give a big hand to them for 'helping' us to know the 'treasure' for what we have in hand...

What a wonderful green-green day ..lol..