COFFEE 'N' PILLOW TALKS

A Time to begin..

2012-01-23T22:15:00.006+08:00

Another year passed. A new chapter of life has begun. And here I am.. walked in the same road, same journey in different times. Thousand of reasons to be cry, laugh and share in 2011. I thankful for all that. The struggles, bitterness, sadness, happiness and the uncertainty has brought me to 2012. Despite to all the traumatize years, I become strong in every way of God. I know suffering will pass if the door of acceptance open and to allows the positive energy to step in. Let the new breeze in to comfort the rage storm.

Present suffering may pass, Lord your mercy will last

And my heart will find praise, I will delight in your way

If my heart has grown cold, there your love will unfold

When I'm blind to my way, there your spirit will pray

As you open my eyes to the work of Your hands

I will walk this journey with hope, faith and love. Prayers and Angels will be with me by the prayer of you.

Somebody praying, I can feel it

Mighty hand are guarding me

To protect me from what I cant see

Lord I believe, somebody praying for me..

Angels are watching over me, I can feel it

There's many miles ahead until I got home..safely arrive into Your throne

Lord, be my refuge at this hour. I have been accused, insulted, blames and judged wrong. Please will you come by me, I want to rest in your arms. I know there is peace and comfort only through you. Broken heart, shattered dreams and tearing eyes will be renewed.

Words from the heart

2011-12-19T12:38:00.006+08:00

Its been over a month I did not update my blog. So much things happened. And all I can say, its gives a meaningful in my life. A step forward to my journey and a 'weapons' in my battle to the next coming year. Thank you to all family and friends to make things happened. Especially to God who gives me a good health and full insight of life expectation and a new hope to the new calendar of life. Here I am again to wish you all Merry Christmas and Happy New Year...

Lets not forget for the 'gifts' that we are going to receive in this season. Its not just a jolliness, foods, gifts or laughter but the one and only..its all about Him.

Thanks and Regards,

Truly me..

Wordless Wednesday (Week 3, Nov)

2011-11-16T09:42:00.007+08:00

Huhuu... the Next Day I'll be..

Weekend Book Fairs

2011-11-15T14:21:00.004+08:00

The world’s largest floating book fair of MV Doulos visited Sabah in year 2009 (I think..). MV Doulos have been around the globes for 16 times in 32 years. There is hundred selection of books on science, religious, cookery, hobbies, sports, dictionary, children stories, CD’s and much more. I love the floating book fair and heard that it will be a last visit to Sabah due to the condition of the cruise. Sigh… and I do hope MV Doulos come again. But last weekend during the mass, the MC has announced that there is new cruise coming to town on 18 November to 11 December!!.. yeah and now the cruise is MV Logos Hope (wow.. looks like my hope comes to reality..).

MV Logos Hope was designed to replace MV Doulos which was sold to BizNaz Resources International. They looking for volunteer to be a crewmembers and this is good news to the youngster out there. Learn and get experience in discipleship, cultural exchange and working in an international environment. So boys and girls take this opportunity to learn and gain new experiences in your school break. As for us this is time for togetherness... family with children and loved one...let us cruise with the books..lol (what??..oh..yes..I'm book worm..lol). And that is a fact..

As for me, this is my weekend list. Sigh.. I’m talking about weekend already..lol..

Weekend with 'baby'...

2011-11-11T16:51:00.012+08:00

Happy weekend friend...

I'm sure all of you will have an interesting weekend. As for me? hehehee..I got my new 'baby'.. never had it before actually..lol.. yeah!! I planned to 'spend' my time to get 'to know her'. I'll blog about it later... hehehe..

Oh..baby..baby..baby..oh..baby..baby.. be my baby..
I know you like me.. but do I like you?
you are not my first love..but can you be one.. baby..baby..baby.. lol..

See my face?? hehhee...

Wordless Wednesday (Week 2, Nov 11)

2011-11-09T08:48:00.003+08:00

My Thought For You

2011-10-24T20:08:00.005+08:00

First day of the week..yes it is Monday. I used to called it Monday blues without truly understand what 'blues' was about. Commonly blues means melancholy and sadness..hey wait a minute...stop there!!. I do feel stressed on Monday and the rest of the weekday too. But I'm not sad and melancholy.. so I should not called it Monday Blues right??..lol. I prefer to fill my mind with positive and good thinking and for that I present you my big yellow smile..

And friend.. thank you for not hating me. I know.. I'm very busy lately almost 'invisible' from friendship cycle..but you still choose me to be your friend.. :)

Ahahahaa.. a words to ponder...

That's all for now friend..my little thoughts for you this week... again I'm going to rolling deep into my routine.... and dreams too...fly high...

Dreaming Weekend

2011-10-22T23:01:00.008+08:00

I'm dreaming a reality... to come ...

I have a dream a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream

I have a dream

I have a dream A fantasy

To help me through Reality

And my destination Makes it worth the while

Pushing through the darkness

Still another mile

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels

When I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream

I have a dream

I'll cross the stream

(ABBA - I Have a Dream)

Wordless Wednesday (Week 3, Oct)

2011-10-19T08:23:00.002+08:00

Saturday with kids

2011-10-15T16:30:00.005+08:00

Happy Saturday all. I normally wake up at 10.00am on Saturday except today as I've made promise to my nephews to have a breakfast at Mc Donalds. Well..there's go my Saturday's..lol

Feel so happy after having his breakfast and its play time...

Having an ice cream at vedablu...

a lunch here...

Its toys time.... looking and picking..

Both look so serious... well..dont worry, auntie paid for it hahhaa...lol

Last place for 'kids time' ... games and entertainment corner

After spending a half days with them...here I'm..reading and writing up my thesis. Going to take a short nap before continue. Feel so tired but what a happy feeling if we're willing to share a days with others and make others life brighter than yesterday..well, I'm just saying..hehhee

Have a great weekend all...

Gloomy Friday...

2011-10-14T11:18:00.005+08:00

It’s a beautiful sunny Friday but somehow I feel so gloomy inside. Been overly busy this past few weeks and that’s why I’m not able to update my blogs. Routine works especially by month end and with all the ISO stuff’s flooded my mind, checking and signing of papers and there are even time my right arm aching due to over use and my eyes are burning as I focus too much on screen. I might have to defocus and exercise my eyes to every now and then. My brains feel so exhausted due to too much thinking in finishing my thesis but somehow it shuttered when comes to papers..sigh!!

But I feel a bit excited as weekend is coming even though I know I’ll be busy with church thingy. But first of all, I’m going to spend Saturday morning with my nephew as I’ve promised to him to have a meal at MCD otherwise he will keep complaining and buzzing around me hehehee…. then a time for me to catch up with the thesis.

How I wish…. I’m in a place with a green, serene with a cold breeze touch me in a morning, a sweet sound of birds with aromatic of woods kiss me in a afternoon and a beautiful sunset smile me at evening...

Happy Friday and enjoy your weekend guys…

Wordless Wednesday (Week 2, Oct)

2011-10-12T08:59:00.002+08:00

Wordless Wednesday (Week 1, Oct)

2011-10-05T08:28:00.003+08:00

When Nature Talks..

2011-09-19T14:57:00.004+08:00

Sometimes it's good to talk with the nature...

When we appreciate life, the beautiful of the nature spokes to us...

Listen to them.... feel it with your heart... touch it with your eyes...

And surrendered to the beauty of the Creator...

Hope for Today

2011-09-15T08:15:00.003+08:00

To all my friends...

Let the dreams come with the hope, strengthen by faith and move by loves.

Love sincerely,

Wordless Wednesday...

2011-09-14T08:15:00.003+08:00

God Bless you...

The sweetness in silence..

2011-09-12T09:10:00.008+08:00

Sometimes I look around me, and I can see all of the sadness and the suffering. Sometimes, I think that this is what true loveliness is; the pain encased within each person's self. But then I wonder if this only a delusion that clings to my own self-loathing because of the feeling of afraid for what would be happens.

Sometimes, the hope and determination become so strong within me that I can feel myself lifted up and it's as if I'm taking a deep, sweet breath of air.

Sometimes, my logic tells me that this despair is not real. I am not suffering with depression, or anxiety. No, this is nothing but a phase. Sometimes, I felt that it is just a part of me, and nothing can cure it, and these are the most hopeless days of all.

Sometimes the words don't come out right. They form in my thoughts, pure and lovely, but somewhere during the path from my mind to the paper they turn into sludge and stutter across the page, uncertain.

But always the time He stood beside me
Tell me to be brave as I’m not walk alone across the path
The moment that I think I’m lost He found me
The moment I think I’m in dark He give me light to cross the path
The moment I think I’m overwhelmed He willing to carry the burden
The moment I feel nobody care He always care-guide me
The moment I feel alone He sit right with me and listen to my jumbles words
And often the moment I feel sad and hopeless He right there smiling and show me how beautiful the world He created for

And I’m surrender to the sweetness of His acts.. in silence.. I found it.

Everybody should have his personal sounds to listen for - sounds that will make him exhilarated and alive or quite and calm.... One of the greatest sounds of them all - and to me it is a sound - is utter, complete silence. ~Andre Kostelanetz~

Going Where The Wind Blows

2011-08-26T10:12:00.007+08:00

Friday is here...Happy holiday to all. Took a week of leave from works and daily routine and I will go to where the wind blow.. lol

Someone said life is for the taking
Here I am with my hand out waiting for a ride
I've been living on my great expectations
What good is it when I'm stranded here
And the world just passes by

Where are the signs to help me get out of this place
If I should stumble on my moment in time,
How will I know
If the story's written on my face, does it show
Am I strong enough to walk on water
Smart enough to come in out of the rain
Or am I a fool going where the wind blows

Here I sit halfway to somewhere
Thinking about what's in front of me and
what I left behind
On my own, supposed to be so easy
Is this what I've been after
Or have I lost my mind

Maybe this is my chance coming to take me away
If I should stumble on my moment in time,
How will I know
If the story's written on my face, does it show
Am I strong enough to walk on water
Smart enough to come in out of the rain
Or am I a fool going where the wind blows

Here I am walking naked through the world
Taking up space, society's child
Make room for me, make room for me,
make room for me
Am I strong enough to walk on water
Smart enough to come in out of the rain
Or am I a fool

Going where the wind blows
Going where the wind blows
Going where the wind blows
Going where the wind blows

Now It's Make Sense..

2011-08-04T13:39:00.007+08:00

Welcoming myself to August..few more months to Christmas.. :)

People say, life is full of challenges, colours, surprises, shapes and many more..yes it is true. There is time I felt nothing and do sometimes feel full. As I acknowledge and accept it, I realized everything comes in circle (some believes it is karma..). Where is sad become joy, dark to light, zero to hero, nothing to something...

Life comes in many shapes
You think you know what you got
Until it changes

And life will take you high and low
You gotta learn how to walk
And then which way to go

Every choice you make
When you're lost
Every step you take
Has it's cause

After you clear your eyes
You'll see the light
Somewhere in the darkness
After the rain has gone
You'll feel the sun come
And though it seems your sorrow never ends
Someday it's gonna make sense

Tears you shed are all the same
When you laughed 'till you cried
Or broken down in pain

All the hours you have spent in the past
Worrying about
A thing that didn't last

Everything you saw
Played a part
In everything you are
In your heart

Someday you're gonna find the answers
To all the things you've become and all they've done
At your expense
Someday it's gonna make sense

After the rain has gone
You'll feel the sun comes
And though it seems your sorrow never ends

All that nonsense makes sense. Question have answered. Trouble makes tunes. Dead end makes way. Crying makes music. Everything are in placed.

Enjoy it...!!!

Its My Life..

2011-07-20T11:49:00.002+08:00

Almost a month did not update my blog..sigh..

Tense is around me at this moment. Sometimes I can’t think anything but sleep and have a good sip of coffee. Everyday waiting for weekend to come by hoping it will be a relaxing weekend. I do enjoy the weekend but I was too tired to enjoy it. All I want is a good foods and body pampering. Juggling with work, study and social/church activities make me want to give up..lol. Luckily I’m not a type of person that gives up too early. Don’t blame me for become so ambitious..hehehe.

People always asked me why I make my life so difficult and not enjoying more as how others woman do. I understand their perspective. For them, that ought to be enough, especially for a woman. A woman should not aim too high otherwise she might end up on the shelves. However, I beg to differ. Times have changed, and I ought to think more realistically. A challenge for woman at these eras is different. The demands for multi-skilled individual are increasing. More than ever before, basic certs cannot take you anywhere and we have to continue building up to keep up with times and stay relevant. Tough still, we still have to continue learning throughout our working life in order to keep up with the increasing demands of our professions. Its forced us to upgrades skills and knowledge to move forward.

Friends often ask me how I juggle the stress of studying with the demands of being a full-time employee. I don’t have an answer because sometimes I totally can’t use my own personal organizer!! And that’s delaying my progress. At this point some of the ‘birds’ out there will start singing and laughing looking at me. Who care!! I live and drive my own life. I always whispered to myself ‘there is always a way to overcome it’. Yeah.. if God allowed U-Turn why Can’t I? LOL… Yet, some of my friends often find it hard to accept my incredibly hectic routine. To them, I have no life! Some of them worried. But, unfortunately this is something that many in my generation have to live with for careers to progress.

Life must go on..handle it with faith..

Weekend with Children

2011-06-27T10:56:00.003+08:00

Nothing is more fun than spend the weekend with children or our loved ones. Sunday Masses is important to me not just because of the obligation for the masses but the responsibility towards the children. Involving in the Children Liturgy taught me a lot of children behaviours. I feel so grateful took this responsibility as it was my self-reflection to what extent I can do. These children are mirrored for tomorrow. Thanks to those whose willing to spend their time for the children to teach and firmed their faith to face the world of tomorrow.

Last Sunday, my parish has conducted a drawing and colouring contest for the children. I’m not involved in that contest but feel so happy watching them. Something echoes in my heart while looking down on them ‘this is children for tomorrow, a light that walk to the path of future’.

As I said, I spent my weekend with children, my nephew celebrating his 6th years born day. He was so happy surrounding by his aunties and uncle. My sister baked a birthday cake for him..lol.

(a simple and plain birthday cake..hand made)

By the way, I feel blessed surrounding by the kids even tough waves of life never stopped reached my life.

Secrets of Life

2011-06-22T16:23:00.007+08:00

While browsing and read through some of my old emails yesterday, I found one email that really bruise my mind. The author dedicated this quotes to all of his retired friends. But somehow, the words are really touched me and I wanted to share it with you. Maybe some of you have read it. The titles of the quotes are ‘The Secrets of life’.

The secrets of Life in 6 words:

• Before middle age – Do not fear

• After middle age – Do not regret

Enjoy your life while you can

• Do not wait till you cannot even walk just to be sorry and to regret

• As long as it is physically possible, visit places you wish to visit

Get out of the stock market!!

• When the share prices are up, your blood pressure goes up too, you want to buy but you cannot get

• When the share prices are down, you panic and want to sell, but no one wish to buy

• You can’t make all the money, why not let the young ones have a chance!

When there is an opportunity, get together with old classmates, old colleagues & old friends. The gathering is not just about eating, the concern is there is not much time left!

Money kept in the banks may not be really yours. When it is time to spend, just spend. You should treat yourself well as you’re getting old!

There are two kinds of food:

1. Things which are good for health – eat often, eat more but that is not everything.

2. Things which are not good for health – eat a little. Eat once a while but do not abstain from them totally.

Whatever you feel like eating, just eat! It is most important to be happy!

Food that you do not feel like eating or do not like, you still need to eat a little once a while, just to balance your nutrition intake!

Treat the sickness with optimism. Whether you are poor, rich, powerful or powerless, everyone will have to go through the process of birth, aging, sickness and death, there is no exception, that’s life!

Do not be afraid or worried when you are sick. Settle all the afraid or worried when you are sick. Settle all the outstanding issues before hand and when you are well, including your funeral arrangements, you will be able to leave this world anytime, without regret!

Let the doctors handle your body, let GOD/NATURE handle your life, but be in charge of your own moods!

If worries can cure your sickness, then go ahead and worry!

If worries can prolong your life, then go ahead and worry!

If worries can exchange for happiness, then go ahead and worry!

Our kids will have their own fortune. Things concerning children and grandchildren, we can listen with eyes, just do not open your mouths or make any comments!

The Principles are:

Do not say anything that are fruitless. Do not do anything that is beyond your ability to achieve. If you are in a reactive situation, make your judgement based on the circumstances. If your children and grandchildren are independent, it is your good fortune!

Look After Four Old Treasures

1. The old body – pay more attention to information about health care, you can only rely on yourself to take care of your own health!

2. The retirement funds – money that you have earned, it is best to keep them yourself

3. The old companion – treasure every moment with your other half, one of you will leave first!

4. The old friends – seize every opportunities to meet up with your friends, such opportunities will be rare as time goes by

Do not panic when the lights go off. You can still see lot of stars in the sky with no boundary. There are always ups and downs in life. Since you do not jump for joy when the water vapour rises, why should you feel sad when it rains!

Three things You Must do Everyday

The first thing: Laugh

The second thing: Smile

The third thing: Laugh loudly and to your heart’s content

A wonderful life will always find wonderful reasons. The one who can laugh last, will be the one with the sweetest laugh!

Be determined in doing an appropriate amount of exercises everyday. Have sufficient sleep, maintain a peaceful and cheerful state of mind.

• Instead of scolding people with red faces and swelling blood vessels on the necks

• Why not just adopt more gracious approaches

• It will be less unruly

Laugh a little, it will be like the ocean and the sky with no boundary. There are always ups and downs in life. Since you do not jump for joy when the water vapour rises, why should you feel sad when it rains!

Looking back at my life, unrealized I’ve set a boundaries just to make me feel safe and happy…sigh! Getting older make me realized what is important to live life with no regret.

Here The Weekend

2011-06-10T16:22:00.010+08:00

Since these few months I'm longing for holidays. No public holidays for this month and I planned to take a holidays..just a short escape from this hectic life but no clue where to go..lol. Luckily weekend is here and I will make use of it. I dont have any planned for weekend gateway this month and I'm trying to make myself loaded with nice things :). Those negatives energies and emotional interference need to put on rest.

I'm looking forward for this coming weekend. I'm going to hunt the ngiu chap (beef stew) at my favorite place hehehe. I promised to myself that starting next week I will be stick with my diet to get rid the calories in my body. I cant stop eating and snacking these few days. I'm still in my ideal weight but I know those calories would accumulate and turned to fat in a future. However, keeping healthy and enough energies is important plus with exercise... :(. I hate exercising..any alternatives way? hehee...

Those pictures a where my calories come..hahaha. Menus for this five days..lol

Varieties of foods drives me crazy. Locals and westerns restaurants are mushrooming and I cant keep my desire to have a 'food test'!!.

Oh ya...Popular Bookstore and Times having a books fair discount up to 30%. Looking forward to visit there too..lol.

By the way have a blessed weekeend guys...enjoy it. Not everyday we have weekend hehehe...

Lazy Me

2011-06-06T17:18:00.003+08:00

Sure everyone has ever feel lazy on Monday..lol. Today I really didn’t want to do anything (well…I did submitted monthly report to the bosses..hehehe). My body in an office but mind at home.. sitting comfortly on a couch, eating snacks and watch TV. I don’t know why I’m always feeling tired. That is the reason I need more sleep but I found the more I sleep the more I get tired. Sometimes I’m tired of sleeping. There is the time I cannot sleep and sometimes cannot get enough sleep.

I don’t even know what happened to me. Spent my weekend wandering around shopping malls and eating whatever I feel to but still cannot get this tired feeling. Well…I’m not physically tired. I’m not even know what to called it.. emotionally tired? I have no idea at all. To think about it also make me tired hahahaa…. Wah! so many of ‘tired’ words today. I better off before I become more tired hahha…

Can’t wait to go home for more lazing time hahaha…

Living Simplicity

2011-06-02T16:28:00.006+08:00

I’m pretty sure in our daily lives, we often rush through tasks by trying to get them done, finish as much as we can, speeding along in our cars to do what we need to do here and there and speed to the next destination and doing the same again and again. Unfortunately, it’s often not until we get to our final destination that we realize what madness this all about. We will feel exhausted and stressed out from the grind and the chaos and the busyness of the day. We don’t have time for what’s important to us, for what we really want to be doing, for spending time with loved ones or doing things we’re passionate about. Slowly it leads to monetary life. We see things with dollars sign and unrealized live with it. Sigh…

People don’t see things but talk things. This is what I learned through my current social life. In order to be accepted into their group you need to become one of them or at least like them. They’re pricey people not just in monetary things but spiritually world. I couldn’t accept for what the conditions offered as I believe in one thing, you are what you are. You not belong to anybody but yourself. Accept for who you are then others will accept you (or not..lol). Might sound funny to most of you but that’s what I think through observation and currently practice it. I guess, I just couldn’t have time to be bothered anymore. I don’t care as long as I know the truth and I don’t even hold it against them. So now, whatever I do, as long as I know the truth and happy about it, I don’t get bothered by what others think. Those people have more issues about themselves if they think badly about other people and the more vicious they become the unhappy them about themselves.

Living in simplicity is what I need the most.. for now hehhee. Happy for what I have and dreams for what I don’t have…yet. Hope I’m not walk too far from my route hehhe.

And that's why I turned this situation to ‘as long as I like to involve and help people, I will not hurt them or by them’ as simple as it is…lol.

Peek a bo

2011-06-01T23:40:00.004+08:00

Hello there..yup i know its more than a month did not update my blog. Being too much attached with the crazy life but thanks God I still managed to catch up through FB and Twitter..lolx. This will be very short update as a comeback hehe..just want to say hello to June hehe...sleepy now, gotta go sleep. Nitey nite..

He Lives

2011-04-18T22:52:00.008+08:00

I’m not realized that the 40 days of fasting are almost over. Pheww!!.. we are entering the last week of Lent which means we are very near to the Easter Triduum, the Holy days that devoted to the special prayers and observance. Yes.. it is preceding Easter Sunday (The Resurrection) and this is time to commemorate and enact the suffering and passion of Jesus. I’m counting down to the days to come ..lol..

(Credit to Clarice Cbz)

I cannot wait for the Easter Vigil (to be honest) as I will see my new friends in their baptismal cloth and I really prayed that their journey will be sacred forever. Yes.. of course once again to renew my vow to follow Him. This weekend will not be the same and that’s I’m very sure..lol.

Happy Holy Weeks Friends…and Happy Easter

Fill Me In..

2011-04-08T12:11:00.004+08:00

We are still in Lent season, time pass so fast and soon to Easter season. As usual I involved myself in church activities and reaching out to those who need guidance and prayer as much as I need. I’ll be leave office early today and participate in LSS at St Joseph Papar. My parish CCR group once again has given an opportunity to run the program for more than hundreds of confirmation student this year. Hope it will run smooth and fill with fire of the Holy Spirit.

The Seminar is an introduction to a life lived in the power of the Holy Spirit. Through a series of talks, worship, Scripture teachings, song, and personal testimonies, participants explore faith topics, including the basic message of salvation, love and a personal relationship with Him as well as the potential and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Free, I long to be free I long for the day I believe

That all You say, You see in me is true

That's hard for me to do

It's hard for me to die to myself

And trust my life to someone else

So come, empty me out

I'm no good

without You inside of me

Come and fill my heart with hope

Come and fill my life with love

Come and fill my soul with strength to carry on

Because from here the climb is steep the road is long

Come and fill my days with dreams

Empty me of all the empty things that I hold on to

Come and fill my heart with You

I need You in my life

Need You like the air that I breathe

You become the very heart of me

And I, I can't believe my eyes

I can't believe the dream that I've found

Lord, Your love has turned my world around

So come, fill up my heart

Till I am like You are so

Deep inside of me

Search me Lord, try my heart

Come and take me now and make me new

So Lord that the world will see You in my life

Oh, of all the empty things that I hold on to

Come and fill my heart with You

Everybody have a relationship with God some closer and some average. Doesn’t matter how close we are or how far away He may seem because He is calling every one of us to deepen that relationship. He offered LOVE for us to accept and there is always more of His love for us; all we have to do is yield ourselves more deeply to it and receive it.

God Bless You All...

Children of Lent

2011-03-21T12:54:00.012+08:00

Have a blessed and special Monday!!.

It is been quite a while I did not write anything. I did not managed spend more time on writing due to the busyness. Yup.. work, church and social activities took over my time. Whatever it is, I’m enjoyed for everything that occupied my time hehehhee…

Time passed so fast and now we are coming to the third week of Lent and soon are Easter season. Luckily, I managed spent my time helping and ministered in Liturgy of the Word Children Retreat at BTRC last weekend. Lent is a special time when we can share the concepts of prayer and giving with our children and teach them how they might help others in need by giving of their time or resources. Lent is a time when we can teach our children to be a better person and do more things that God likes them to do and of course for us as well. The theme of ‘I Choose Jesus’ really inspired me and the children in encountering the journeys to know Him more. Hundreds kids of age 9-14 years attends the 3 days retreat, facilitated by teachers and teenagers of the children ministry.

The environment is really refreshing and gives a peace of mind to me. Woke up early in the morning with fresh air, cold and serene environment. How beautiful God’s creation! Praise Him!!

Foggy morning, cold but fresh

During the session, children have been taught about temptations of Jesus at the desert in 40 days, reflection of the prodigal son parable, verses of the bible and Station Of the Cross. I can see how the children love the stories with the reflection and songs throughout sessions. They are excited and inspired by the stories and of course an excellent presentation by the speaker!!.

The Tempatations of Jesus in a desert

The Prodigal Son

The speaker talked about the sins and relates it to the Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) tothe children and symbolizes the white clothes as our life. He placed the ashes to the clothes and taught the children and all the participants that we are sinners. Only through repentance, the ashes would go away. I loved the creative way of the speaker when he asked the children to list down the wrong things they’ve done without their name in a piece of paper and placed it at the board with the cloths dirt by ashes till end of the sessions. Apart from it, he placed ashes to our forehead throughout the day as a remembrance of the sins we are committed. Imagine we walked with the ashes throughout the days..hahahhaha.. luckily its only for 2 days.

The ashes

In the session of the reflecting the bible verses, each of the children are given one bible verse for them to read, understand and share with one another in a group. I’ve touched by one of the children in the group when he says ‘God loves children’ after reflecting his verse. When the Holy Spirit worked, nothing could stop the young children to understand the God’s words.

What is really touched me among the sessions is the Station Of the Cross session. Everybody including the small children has experienced the ‘burden’ of the cross (really heavy). One to two persons have to carry it while the prayers and songs been sung. Most of the children touched by the prayers and songs in reflecting how suffer Jesus Christ is. Some burst in tears including the facilitators. My heart and eyes full of tears watching the tears of the children.

Game on

Each group sumamrizing the understanding of The Prodigal Son parable

Teamwork

Presenting the findings

Concentrating on the bible verses

Look.. how focused they are

Group presentation: One of the group presenting The Prodigal Son

We are the family of God..so closed knited into one...

I do believe our children out there need guidance and exemplary of living life in prayer after seeing the ‘sins list’.

Overall, I enjoyed my weekend although I got fever after returned to KK. It’s worth it!! lol..

I'm a Woman

2011-03-08T21:31:00.009+08:00

GOD CREATING WOMAN

While creating woman, GOD is working over time in the day sixth.

ANGEL: Why it takes so long, MY LORD?

GOD: Have you seen each details I made while creating her? These 2 hands have to be clean, but not made from plastics. At least made from 200 parts that could move and work well for each type of food. Could guard as many children in the same time. Have hugs that could cure disappointments and agony. And everything could be done only by these two hands

ANGEL: Only by two hands?....impossible! And that is a standard model?!Ok MY LORD, I think it's enough for today, we can continue to complete it tomorrow

GOD: Oh... No, I will complete this creation today, because it's MY best creation. Moreover, she could also cure herself and could work 18 hours in a day.

Angels come closer and see her performance and look to the woman that being created by GOD.

ANGEL: But YOU made her so soft MY LORD?"

GOD: Yup.. I made her so soft. But you haven't imagined yet the power I gave, so she could solve so many problems amazingly.

ANGEL: Could she think?

GOD: Not only thinking, she could also negotiating

Those angels then touching her chin....

ANGEL: MY LORD, YOU made this creation looked tired and fragile! Seems like too much weight for her.

GOD: That's not tired or fragile....that's tears

ANGEL: What does it for?

GOD: Tears are perfect way for her to express her grief, doubt, happiness, sadness, love, loneliness, agony and pride

ANGEL: It's awesome, YOU are so genius MY LORD. YOU are thinking detailly for her; your created woman is going to be greatly very fabulous!

This woman will have power to appeal men. She could handle problem even more than man. She can save her own happiness and opinion. She can smile even though when her heart is howling. Could sing when crying. Crying when crumple, even laughing when frightened. She sacrifices herself for people she loved. Could stand up against unfairness. She does not reject to see something better. She jumps herself for her family. She takes her sick friends to the treatment.

Her love is without requirement. She is crying when seeing her son become the winner. She is so bright and cheerful seeing her friends laughing. She is so cheery when hearing a birth. Hear heart is so sad seeing someone sick and obituary. But she always has the power to overcome each of life problems. She knows that a kiss and a hug could heal up the hurts.

There is only one thing wrong with the woman: She forgets what she is WORTH.

Appreciate every woman in your/our life. Every day, every minutes not just on WOMAN DAY. She always stand her ground. Sometimes down but will stand tall again.

By the way, Happy Woman Day!! as a woman, I want to thanks to every single persons in my life because you all has showed me, how worthy I am. Time is hard and that is make how worthy journey is. God Bless you all..

What Faith Can Do

2011-02-17T13:57:00.003+08:00

I know, it's been a while I did not write anything...here I dropped some message to all of you through this beautiful song. Every cloud there is silver lining..but you gotta find it yourself with hope, faith and love. Yes..hope will keep us moved, faith make us strong and love will keep us alive... keep walking and enjoy the journey of life... :)

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn’t ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I’ve seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That’s what faith can do

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard
Impossible is not a word
It’s just a reason for someone not to try
Everybody’s scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It’ll be alright
Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

Have a blessed day friends...

The Beauty of silence..

2011-01-07T15:41:00.003+08:00

Starting a new day in a new month of the year is not easy. We hope for something new from others like attitude adjustment. This kind of expectation somehow becomes barriers for us to continue a fresh start. I heard a lot of sighing and complained from friends like ‘itu-itu juga perangai, tidak pandai berubah’ (their attitudes are still the same). Then I remembered one quote ‘we can’t change the weather but we can change our attitudes towards its’... something like that. This is a first week of the year, please make it feel like real New Year and stop pointing to others but look deep into ourselves...lol!!. Do not try to change others. To change the world, one must change themselves because to blame and complain will only make matters worse. Whatever you care about come with responsibilities because what we see in others show what is in ourselves.

Let peace be around us so we can avoid the negatives environment spreading. The world created by us is a reflection to show the person we are. Remember the good you find in others, is in you too. The faults you find in others are your faults as well. The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well. The beauty you see around you is your beauty.

See the best in others, and you will be your best. Give to others, and you give to yourself. Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful. Admire creativity, and you will be creative.

Love and you will be loved. Seek to understand, and you will be understood. Listen and your voice will be heard. Teach, and you will learn.

This is the beauty of silence…

Coming Back..

2011-01-02T22:54:00.004+08:00

Being so long did not update my blog. Feel guilty hahahhaa...

Another year to battles. Everybody looking forward for new resolutions, reflected for what being happened in last year and promised to make it better this year, some continued with their very own goals to achieved..and that person is me..lol. I'm not making any resolutions this year but will stick for what I'm currently doing. I see there is no point by making one if the old one still in limbo hehehe.

By the way, how is your Christmas and New Year celebration guys? for me it was great surrounded by family and friends, gifts, bazaar, foods. What's more important than that right? and I'm really enjoyed my holidays. Feel so great away from work with no phone calls and hectic situations.

Took almost two weeks leave and spend it well hehhee..vacations, shopping, retreating, partying and pampered myself with good foods (hope I'm not add up in kgs..lol), movies and books. Stay late and wake up at 10am-12pm. Took breakfast at 12pm and lunch at 4pm! hahaha...no joke and it's true.

But it's going to over now because tomorrow will be busy again...sigh. How I wish everyday is holiday..lol. Whatever it is, rise and shine guys.. Happy New Year. Hoping this year will be the best year in our life. Forgive and be forgiven for what happened in last year... let's the story become history...have a best day ahead...

Hello Again

2010-11-19T16:55:00.010+08:00

Miss my blog so much..being busy for almost a month. As usual, not just busy with work but also with studies and other personal activities. Finally I can take a deep breath..yes the class is over and now come to the hardest part. But I'm sure I can go through this..YES!!

So far my weekends a great..being there and there but did not have a chance to rearrange all the photos. I'll upload once I can find a time to do some tuning hehehe. Rock climbing, boat ride, wildlife, retreating, clubbing, partying, pampering and indulging..what else I can say..I guess this is the time for me to take in charge myself...

What else??...yup a gorgeous birthday party surrounded with 'heebie jeebies' friends plus with cakes, foods, liquors, wine, games..... and a surprise dinner...hehehe..

Time pass so fast..advent is near and Christmas is coming...

So much to tell..so little time..just want to say hello again to all my blogger friends... will find time to update...

Enjoy and be happy for this November because it is a promise for December..the jolly joy month..lol

Be True To Yourself..

2010-10-28T10:19:00.003+08:00

Breakthrough in understanding and action has transformed our life and brought fulfilment.

The joy of giving is as great as the joy of receiving.

So never afraid to stay true to yourself..

Award from Stella

2010-10-25T09:17:00.010+08:00

I’ve a lot of debt in answering ‘award or tag’ from friends blogger… hehehe sorry guys, but from now on, I’m trying to answer it and starting from Stella (Paint of Life)

You need to do these 3 following tasks after receiving the award.

1. Thank the person who gave you this award and the link of the person.

Sorry for late reply Stella hehehee...

2. Spread this award to 15 bloggers who you like and think their blog is awesome.

I’m sure most of you has received this award.. but surely you don’t mind to receive it again hehe.

1. Sumandak Kinabalu

2. Andrik

3. Borneo Love

4. Reanclaire

5. Nadia

6. Honeybuzzin

7. Nancy Peter

8. Deeluke

9. Rhytm of My Soul

10. A Life Itself

11. Memeljoan

12. Angel Bear

13. Vienne

14. Angeline

15. Wenn

3. Tell 7 things about yourself.

1. I am the eldest daughter of the family with 7 siblings.

2. I was born in Kota Kinabalu, spend my teen age at Kota Belud (Cowboy town) and moved back to Kota Kinabalu.

3. Work full time and study part time (hehehe.. Never get enough)

4. Book, music and movie is my favourites

5. I love foods and many foods. Dine and try at new eatery places is my hobby

6. I love to pampered myself especially on weekend with music, movies, foods, massage, sauna, shopping (good to be a woman hehehe.. and I’m normal hehehe..)

7. I love writings… but never finished… hehehe..

By the way, happy Monday and many days ahead friends hehehe.. Its a beautiful day isn't?

20102010 Blessed Birthday

2010-10-20T10:42:00.004+08:00

Today is wonderful day because the 20102010 date. Most of my friends excited to buy a tickets (who knows..jackpot..hehhee). Some celebrating their new age!! and for those whose celebrating their birthday today, I would like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday and God Bless..

Don't worry about that extra line
That's creeping up upon your face
It's just a part of nature's way
To say you've grown a little more
Trees have rings and thicker branches
Kids shoes get a little tighter
Every year we're getting closer to who we're gonna be
It's time to celebrate the story of how you've come to be

Happy birthday my friend
Here's to all the years we've shared together
All the fun we've had
You're such a blessing
Such a joy in my life
May the good Lord bless you
And may all your dreams come true

So light a candle on your cake
For every smile you've helped create
For every heart and every soul
You've known to grow a little more
A few more pounds, a little more grey
Don't count the years just count the way
It takes a little time to go from water into wine
Don't ever lose the wonder of the child within your eyes

Happy birthday my friend
Here's to all the years we've shared together
All the fun we've had
It's such a blessing
Such a joy in my life
May the good Lord bless you
And may all your dreams come true

Break..

2010-10-12T11:48:00.006+08:00

It was very tiring weekend. Attend a last session from morning to evening for 2 days and now I have to prepare for my proposal thesis!! And I have to finish my dissertation within time givens. Then work..work.. and work. Ok we are in the middle of the week and I know most of us feel exhausted like me..hehhee.. Let us take a break and play with our mind. I received this email and wanted to share with all of you. Look too familiar to you? have received it before? Don’t bother la.. Just try to ease your mind hehehe..

SHORT NEUROLOGICAL TEST

Part 1

1- Find the C below.. Please do not use any cursor help.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
69999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

3 - Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you need not to visit your neurologist. Your brain is great and you’re far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer.

part 2

eonvrye that can raed this rsaie your hnad.

To my 'selected' strange-minded friends:
If you can read the following paragraph, forward it on to your friends and the person that sent it to you with 'yes' in the subject line.

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!

If you can raed this, you have a sgtrane mnid too

Can you raed this? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this forwrad it

HAPPY WEEKDAY AHEAD…

Green Green Saturday

2010-10-03T13:35:00.028+08:00

Last Saturday, I decided to bring my nephews, niece and family's to The Green Connection as weekend activities. It' s just 5 minutes drive from my house. It has been launch for 5 months. It is an amazing biodiversity of habitats of Sabah. It is an eco theme park displaying the wonders of nature from Sabah. I've took hundred pictures of it but just shared few of it. Too much to upload hehhe. There is a lot of rare plants and animals. Could not managed to took pictures of the plants as I'm more interested an aquatic life hehehehe...

By the way, here is the map to go there.

It also includes a science and discovery center with interactive hands-on modules which are not only fun but educational for children. Spend for almost an hour there. The kids love it so much. Happy for them.

The aim of the project is to promote environmental awareness by exhibiting the ecosystems of Borneo and highlighting both the threats they face and the desperate need to conserve the ecosystems as well as the animals who live there

This project's are under NGO funded by HSBC, Yayasan Sabah and other Educational Group's. Feel lucky because it happened I meet the woman (I think she is an Aussie) who managed this projects. They are still in progressing of 'keeping-safe' the mega-biodiversity of what the nature hold for us.

Personally, I think we as a local-Malaysian should give a big hand to them for 'helping' us to know the 'treasure' for what we have in hand...

What a wonderful green-green day ..lol..

Cross The Bridge...

2010-09-27T15:24:00.002+08:00

I only believe in things I can see, touch or feel which consciousness is. Therefore I believe that feeling is the bridge between what we know and what we don’t know, cause the only thing we can do in the physical and spiritual is FEEL…

Your problem is to bridge the gap which exist between where you are now and the goal you intend to reach ~Earl Nightingle~

In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future ~Alex Haley~

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment ~ Jim Rohn

Life is a bridge. Cross over it, but build no house on it.

Sometimes you get the best light from burning bridge ~Don Haley~

Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unite your body too your thoughts ~Anand Singh, Thich Nhat Hanh

Faith is the peerless bridge supporting what we see unto
the scene of the we do not ~Emily Dickinson~

Go to the truth beyond the mind. Love is the bridge ~Stephen Levine~

LET EVERY MAN PRAISE THE BRIDGE THAT CARRIES HIM OVER

Lights Will Guide You..

2010-09-23T14:36:00.003+08:00

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

A moment of Thought

2010-09-13T11:26:00.005+08:00

I would like to say that I’m going a bit far this few months. I've joined and involved few things that catch my eyes and cross my mind. Meet a few new friends from my MBA classes and feel glad about it. Since our course are almost over, we joined a Toastmaster meeting (haven’t decide to become a member), SPA and going out together. It makes our friendship growing. I feel funny for what happened at the Toastmaster meeting (luckily we just a guest..lol!). I was surprised because there were officers, evaluators, timers, grammarian, ah counter to ‘judge’ you while you doing your presentation. I can see how shaking they are especially for the first time member who’s making and delivering speech. It is a non-profit organization with an aimed to help professionals develop public speaking and leadership skills. Quite interesting but I'm not ready to be judge yet hehhee..once I earn my confidence then I'll give a try and of course by becoming a member first.

Making new friends are great opportunity to me. I learned a lot and help me to change a point of view towards daily lives. Some of my new friends are entrepreneur and these give me some idea to dig out and develop more from myself. I received good advices and help me opened a new way to so called ‘urged to change myself’. I really amazed for what they have achieved and some of them are in my age!! Well, I might not good in finding the resources but this idea gives a driving-forced to me to look for it.

Have you all heard about JCI (Junior Chamber Industries)? One of my friends invites me to join their group. I goggled about JCI and found that this organization is under NGO and funded from banks and other societies. It’s all about to create a positive change, a challenges through local developments using strategic and critical planning for creative solutions towards communities and so on. I saw a lot of events and programs run by JCI and mostly helping the communities to face the challenges in world locally and globally. I’m interested in the purposes of this organization because it’s all about ‘serving’ and some more this are non-profit organization. Still thinking about it..lol.

To achieve a balance life is not easy and I admit it’s difficult. However, it is not impossible to achieve it. I play roles as full time worker, student, and free spirit ‘young-single mum’ (hehhehee…don’t laugh at me!!) and mingling around too. Sit in an office for 8-10hours, back home to the daily housework’s, struggling with my assignment/thesis, get prepared for coming exam of ACCA (huh.. thinking to hold this exam) this and that club members and fulfilling ‘my own’ time..lol.

Well, it’s just a moment of thought recalling what I’ve been through in these few months. As a wise people said ‘Every change offers an opportunity’.

By the way, how is your Hari Raya? I’m not going out much this festive season. Only pay visits to my sister and father house and have some Hari Raya moments with them. Well, of course ‘tapau’ some Hari Raya delicacies hehehhe…. I have to watch out my cholesterol level. So dramatic, high cholesterol with only 46kgs hahahha…

Parasites Friends..

2010-09-06T14:58:00.003+08:00

We know what parasites is. But do we know those parasites also lived in a form of human being? This parasites could harm and possibly causing a ‘death’ to us. These kinds of people somehow come with motives and acted in a ‘good manner’. As a host we don’t realize it until it eats us up.

They go wherever you go and you have to ‘feed’ them while you’re dying. They attached with you in good time but ‘missing’ in a bad time. Often time they show themselves as a depressed friend and need your attention. You with them until you realized they used you for something benefited to them. They used your name to get attention, talk rude things about you to earned others trust and very good in displaying themselves to others as a victims and lead others to changed their perceptions about you.

They come to you with reason but left you with thousand reasons. Sometimes we feel guilty for wanting them away from you. Under normal circumstances, they come to your life with a tonne of problems and as a good friend you trying hard to be as good listener realizing you can’t help them out. Lead by the guilt and sympathize you offered services to them. Like, pick them up in your car, drives them places and happened sometimes you got stuck in the worst by lending them money. This parasites has no way to pay you back because they’re very good in manipulate your feelings of guilt over their situation and play on your sympathy to get more out of you. But once we offended them after helping them so much like, not giving them what they desire, they will attack to your self-esteem by bringing up all kinds of insults from your pasts or your weaknesses to barb you with.

Fuhh… I really hated those parasites. Why I posts this parasites things? It’s happened to me!!. I’d tried talked nicely to them but the guilt feeling in me wins them all. What shall I do with this kind of people? They might unaware of their own behaviour. I do understand for some people they are parasites by circumstances but through my observation these persons called ‘friends’ are parasite by choice!.. really pist me off. They wanted my attention when and where they wanted it, whether I like it or not they don’t care as long I exercise my duty as a FRIEND.

Forgive me for I’m complaining this time..hehee. I guess, I’ll stop talking to them and not responding to any conversation (emm.. Can I do that? Is it bad?). I don’t want them to leech over me forever… tired.

Friday - Weekend

2010-09-03T17:11:00.002+08:00

Finally it's Friday..have you plan your weekend guys??.. hehehe..

Thanks to my good friend!! hehehehe.. I got this..YES!!

Emm.. as I mentioned earlier..I'll be part of this... looking for good or new books..lol..

Finally..hahahaa...!!!!!

My virtual barn... hope one day I can have the real one..

BY THE WAY..ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND.. see next week..hahaha...

Blessed Day..

2010-08-30T11:38:00.007+08:00

Thanks God I feel blessed to wake each day and see the world in a new light. Blue is a beauitiful colour and heart-warming feeling. Just look at the sky, isn't blue beautiful?. Its not a sad colour. After all what is Tuesday without Monday...what a day after Sunday?... hehehe..

Blue to Blues..Happy BlueS Monday everyone!!. Today is Merdeka Eve..feel the heat and lets rock the town tonight!! By the way, do not forget to submit your assignement to the pay master..lol!!. It will make our Merdeka worth meaning... ok back to work..lol

BLESSED MONDAY..BLESSED MERDEKA!!

Alone and Independence..

2010-08-26T23:51:00.014+08:00

What is being alone means to me?? To me word ‘alone’ are doing something without accompany of anybody. Almost all the time I dine alone, shopping and buy groceries alone, watch tv-movies alone especially on weekend, went to mass alone, study alone, driving alone and sleep alone.. lol ^-^. For some reason, I prefer to be alone. I can stay in the library with a books for 5 hours straight all by myself. Well…the only thing I want to learn now is to live alone because all of my years I lived with family. I’ll move out soon and live alone. And again I want to do things alone. I have everything in planned. One thing I’m very sure about myself is.. I’m independence in a kind of way.

By the way, I’m not introvert or loner. In fact I like talking (I think this is my traits and I cant stop talking.. non-stop.. I should become a politician hehhe..) hang out with friends and try new things together. Thinking to meet new peoples, coz I think my friends are tired of listening to me..hahhaha.

I am alone most of the time because I don’t really have a choice. Being single (and mingle too… J ) and with only my colleagues, I usually do things on my own and I like it. Sometimes I feel good coz I don’t have to argue with anybody about something or trying hard to ‘buy’ their hearts. The best things is I can do anything without thinking of what the other person might say.

But not all the time being alone is good…take me for example, I like talking…if I alone then whom I want to talk to?. The only things could shut me up is a books… hehhee. So I had decided and enrolled or should I say renewed myself again as a library member after 10 years being expelled from the list…why? My card expired. New to me, no more plastic card to identified you as a member but with an Identity Card. I borrowed a bunch of books to read for this coming weekend and thinking to lock myself in a room. Should I buy some Pringles and cappuccino to complete it? Hehehe...

While we are in the corner of celebrating Independence Day, I want to take this opportunity to wish all Malaysian ‘Happy Independence Day’ and psssttt.. declaring my weekend independence too.. hehehe..

The 3' Cycles...

2010-08-24T22:40:00.008+08:00

When the 3' cycles stand side by side.... what do you 'see'??...hehehe..

Random Me...

2010-08-23T15:15:00.026+08:00

Take a break have a kit kat..

2010-08-11T10:12:00.002+08:00

How are You....

2010-07-07T16:40:00.005+08:00

Suddenly, I like buying clothes, shoes, bag and accessories. In the past, I never cared for what I wore; a tee and a pair of old jeans would be ok for me. But it’s nice to care about our looks and it’s really creative to use different colors and materials to create a unique look that expresses our personality and our inner world. It’s an art!! (I get used with this phrase.. somebody taught me… :)) and I like playing with colors and altering my clothes to create a funky and grow up look…lol. Emm.. I guess it’s just a feeling to take better care of myself, make some changes in my appearance, easy going, less anxious and be more positive.

Now I understand why some woman adored this Cleo, Vogue, Woman and etc magazine as their ‘bible’ hehehehe…. (coz I’m starting buying it too..). I guess, I really took the ‘advise’ of this mag’s. It’s proven by a bundle of clothes and ‘coloring thingy’ at my wardrobe now… I just don’t know when I’m going to wear that.. hehehhe. I feel good after doing it. Well… I need to planned carefully the worthiness of the spending.. don’t want to run out $$$$... debt free.

I’m slowly getting back to my daily rituals and routines after months of resentment. It’s great to be back in my comfort zone after such a long time away from ‘myself’. I realized that time away has helped me to take life differently, shifted my focus and give me several ‘aha and wow’ moments to ponder. Well I guess, I’m in a making of recreating the new me… lol.

My life kind a too routine which makes me feels lazy and ‘dizzy’ at the same time. So I borrowed a bunch of novels from library, lock myself in a room with Pringles, hot coffee, a warm comforter and start a reading session along with Vonda Shepard playlist over and over again. I used this method to indulge myself especially on weekend night. I love doing this few years ago and I stopped when busy life chasing me. Not to say I’m not busy now, but the words of busy make dizzier so I changed it to routine… hehehehe.

Happy July to all of you… here Pringles from me… lol...

What Makes A Dad

2010-06-18T13:39:00.011+08:00

God took the strength of a mountain
The majesty of a tree
The warmth of a summer sun
The calm of quiet sea
The generous soul of nature
The comforting arm of night
The wisdom of the ages
The power of the eagle's flight
The joy of a morning in spring
The faith of a mustard seed
The patience of eternity
The depth of a family need
Then God combined these qualities
When there was nothing more to add
He knew His masterpiece was complete
And so, He called it...Dad

~Unknown~

Sunshine

2010-06-15T17:07:00.003+08:00

Few months ago I complained to God why life so hard. I keep trying but seem the trying time never ends. Now, God give me a time to sit down and relax but I still complained. He gives me too much rest till I forgot to walk and run with others in battlefield (now..I’m ketinggalan..padan muka..lol) . The good thing is, I know where it’s been

Few months ago I complained to God on the condition of the weather, too hot to bear. Now, God give me a month full of rain and I still complain. He gives too much till I fall sick… hehehhee…the good things is, I can update my blog..yeah!!

But I know…sun will always there. It’s up to us how to make it shine. The sun will keep shine new and beautiful…

Happy Harvest..

2010-05-26T12:08:00.014+08:00

I know everybody is in a mood of holiday especially those Sabahan and Sarawakian as the public holiday are very soon. For Sabahan, the Pesta Kaamatan (Harvest Festival) fall on 30th to 31st May while for Sarawakian Pesta Gawai fall on 1st to 2nd of June. How I wish those date can be made as a public holiday to all Malaysian..dont you think so???..hehehe. By doing so, we can celebrate together…lol..

Pesta Kaamatan are celebrating by KadazanDusuns of Sabah. Not so long ago most of KadazanDusuns were mainly agrarian folks and subsistence rice framers. The spirit of paddy/rice called ‘Bambarayon’ or ‘Bambaazon’ are needs to be worship. That is the reason Kaamatan for, to give a thanksgiving to the ‘Bambarayon’. They had been for times immemorial and have emerged as proud and valiant people with their very own social orders and religious belief system in which the Bobohizans, the female shamans of KadazanDusun, played a paramount role and as a medium to the Kinorohingann (god). The Pesta Ka’amatan, the rice harvest and thanksgiving festival remembers those times in an era where customs and traditions are changing much too fast.

Throughout the month of May, local districts such as Penampang, Kota Belud, Tamparuli and many others will be hosting their Kaamatan and Beauty contest. The winner from the local contest will go on to complete the Grand Final at KDCA on 30th to 31st of May. The finale of the Kaamatan is when the Untuk Ngadau (Ethnic Beauty Pageant of the Kadazandusun) is chosen. There is a story behind this ethnic beauty contest, and it is one where the heroine sacrifices herself for the good of her people by the name of Hominodun the daughter of Kinorohingan and his wife Suminundu. This is one of the more well-known oral folklore from the Kadazandusuns.

The Unduk Ngadau wearing a different traditonal costume representing different ethnics

So… Happy Kaamatan to all of you…..arramaitiiieeee………………………hehehhe

Note: Aramaiti is in KadazanDusun language and it means ‘lets have fun together’

Here Again...

2010-05-20T16:46:00.004+08:00

Hola.. so long I did not update my blog..emmm..about a month. I'm still here, so much things happen in my life. Feel like time pause and stop for a while.. and I slowly wake up, stand up , breath and get back on track... lol..

And I want to start believe again and keep trying to reach 'me'. A lot of things I wanna do..

Lets take a breath and feel the rain, feel the heat of the sunshine...

Next post will come soon...

Resting in spirit..

2010-04-14T08:43:00.002+08:00

O God,
whose love restores
the brokenhearted of this world:
pour out your love,
we beseech you,
upon those who feel
lonely, abandoned, or unloved.
Strengthen their hope
to meet the days ahead;
give them the courage
to form life-giving friendships;
and bless them with the joy
of your eternal peace.
Amen.

Pampering Weekend

2010-03-28T09:25:00.010+08:00

Last weekend I made myself 'available'.. for my ownself.. lol. Wake up as early 6.00am, I took up my sport shoes and go for 'walking' a.k.a jogging. Need to sweat a lot since I've been in aircond room for almost 10hrs everyday.. I choosed Likas jogging track as it very near to my house... 5-8 minutes drive.

Likas Jogging Track has turned out to be a good venue for a simple work out. The track runs around a small lake and with a distance of 1km from the starting to the ending point.

There are also line dance classes running regularly here such as Western dance or slow motion dance a Tai-Chi dance …hehehe.. I did tried it, but I laughing all the way.. hehehe.. may be its not for me. Beside that, sport facilities also can be found in this complex like swimming pool, badminton courts, tennis courts, football fields and a gym room. Every evening, there is aerobic classes held here…

Took breakfast with my sister and friend after the 'workout'.. lol.. me and my sis went to body massage for about 1 hour. Since the Beauty shop belong to my friend, I got discount hehhee.. save few bucks.

~Japanese Dream Food~

Craving for Japanese food after the massage... again I made myself 'available' to eat a lot..

Movie time... well, I have to admit that this movie is not as what I expect for.. It's about two teenage twin who lost their mother. Their father send them for vacation to Auckland.. visiting their auntie. They discovered something at eerie derelict house with the dark forces unleashed within...alienated the mountains there..

Walking and shopping around.. having a sweet time with my sister and few bucks 'melayang pergi'..lol..

Again.. having a tea time at Starbucks...

After zoombing around for almost 6 hours.. it's time to get home and again.. movie time..this time at home with family.. free and easy.. hehhee... Sunday? took whole day sleep, eat and movie at Astro... I'm sure all of you have a good weekend too..

Resting Place...

2010-03-22T11:07:00.002+08:00

I’ve held on for so long
I cannot replace the tears of disgrace
Cause you running from the truth
All the ways you kept me hanging on

It’s seems the road I choose
Bring back to the place that I left before
And, again I’ve to choose my own road
Lighten by Him

Sometimes the road of life seems long
As I travel through the years
And with hearts that are broken
And eyes brimful of tears

I falter in my weariness
And sink beside the way
But God leans down and whispers
"Child, there'll be another day."

And the road will grow much smoother
And much easier to face
So heart… Please do not be disheartened
Because, this is just a resting place

And unto You.. I placed my HOPE
Bless this broken road…

SCHOOL LIFE..

2010-03-18T19:30:00.004+08:00

Have you ever think how many years of school or studying time in our lives???? Let me make the simple and short summary based on my knowledge and experiences..

After 6 years of primary education (primary 1 to 6), we will proceed our education in another level, which is the secondary level.

We will be spending 5 years in this level (6 years for those in probation class). The 5 years can be divided into 2 parts, which is the lower secondary (Form 1 - Form 3) and higher secondary (Form 4 - Form 5).

After completed 5 or 6 years in secondary school, some of us took (optional) Form 6 studies, which will last for another 2 years (lower and upper) to prepare for STPM, the entry towards local or oversea universities.

Life spending in Universities can add up to 3-5 years (diploma to degree level) depending on the major that we took. If we keen enough and forward to the higher level (Master) add another 2 years.

Summaries: Primary school 6 years, secondary 6 or 8 years (consider the probation class and form 6), Universities 7 years totaling to 20 to 21 years!!

Even though there is a quote saying ‘life is a journey of learning’ but 20 YEARS bound in education rules sound doesn’t make sense right??… what do you think??

Great Woman..

2010-03-16T10:50:00.004+08:00

Feel inspired by them...lol..

DON’T BE AFRAID TO CHALLENGE
Woman must not accept; she must challenge. She must not be awed by that which has been built up around her; she must reverence that woman in her which struggles for expression.
— Margaret Sanger, founder of Planned Parenthood

DON’T GIVE UP
Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong.
— Ella Fitzgerald, African-American Jazz singer

REVEAL YOUR BEAUTY
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.
— Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, author of "On Death and Dying"

LIVE THE LIFE YOU WANT
Don't let anyone rob you of your imagination, your creativity, or your curiosity. It's your place in the world; it's your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live.
— Mae C. Jemison, first African-American woman astronaut

DARE TO DREAM
Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.
— Gloria Steinem, American journalist and political activist

NURTURE & TRANSFORM
A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture, and transform.
— Diane Mariechild, author of "Mother of Wit"

DIMINISH FEAR
I have learned over the years that when one's mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.
— Rosa Parks, African-American civil rights activist

AGING IS OPPURTUNITY
Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength.
— Betty Friedan, author of "The Feminine Mystique

TOUCH THE SKY
We never know how high we are
Till we are called to rise;
And then, if we are true to plan,
Our statures touch the skies.
— Emily Dickinson, American poet

HAVE COURAGE
The best protection any woman can have...is courage.
— Elizabeth Cady Stanton, American abolitionist

BE INDIPENDENT
I think the girl who is able to earn her own living and pay her own way should be as happy as anybody on earth. The sense of independence and security is very sweet.
— Susan B. Anthony, American suffragette and advocate of women's rights

WORK HARD

Hard work keeps the wrinkles out of the mind and spirit.
— Helena Rubenstein, Polish cosmetics industrialist

MAKE OTHERS FEEL GOOD
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
— Maya Angelou, African-American poet

IT’S OK TO FAIL
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
— Beverly Sills, former American opera soprano

It's good to read some inspiring quotes when you feel down and less couraged.. :)

Broken..

2010-03-14T10:29:00.005+08:00

Sometimes I ponder about what will come next
Where will my life turn when it seems to stall?
When is the next time I will smile again?
and how will I get up, should I fall?

Happiness fills me with a touch of sadness.
By that I mean I know it can't last.
Beauty decays, laughter subsides
When will the stones be cast?

Tragedy can be measured
by the amount of happiness taken away
Elusion is our only protection
As we fall victim to its prey

So when I've reached a fork in life's road
and the choices are many or few.
I follow the one that leads away from misfortune
Thats all I can really do

When life is good
You have to hold it in your hand
You have to close your eyes
You have to breathe it in!

Happiness may end
While tragedy begins
Today is the beginning
Is tomorrow the end?

JUST FINE

2010-03-05T10:52:00.003+08:00

You know I love music
And every time I hear something hot
It makes me wanna move
It makes me wanna have fun
But its something about this joint right here
This joint right here, it makes me wanna, woo!

Let it go
Cant let this thing called love get away from you
Feel free right now, go do what you wanna do
Cant let nobody take it away from you, from me, from we

No time for moping around, are you kidding?
And no time for negative vibes 'cause I’m winning
It’s been a long week, I put in my hardest
Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
Don't stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my vibe right
I ain't gonna let you kill it
See I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
See I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Feels so good
When you’re doing all the things that you wanna do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
Keep your head up high in yourself, believe in you, believe in me

Having a really good time, I’m not complaining
And I’m a still wear a smile if it's raining
I gotta enjoy myself regardless
I appreciate life, I’m so glad that it's mine

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
Ain't worried about you and what you're gonna do
I’m a lady so I must stay classy
Gotta keep it hot, keep it together if I want to get better
See I wouldn?t change my life, my life’s just fine

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
See I wouldn't change my life, my life’s just

I ain't gon’ let nothing get in my way, no
(I ain't gon' let nobody bring me down, no, no, no)
No matter what nobody has to say
(No way, no way, no way, no way)
I ain’t gon’ let nothing get in my way, no
No matter what nobody has to say

Feels so good
When you’re doing all the things that you wanna do
Get the best out of life, treat yourself to something new
It’s a really good thing to say that I wouldn't change my life
My life’s just fine

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
See I wouldn't change my life, my life’s just fine

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
Don't stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind vibe right
I ain’t gonna let you kill it
See I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
Just fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, ooh!
See I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine

So I like what I see when I’m looking at me
When I’m walking past the mirror
Don't stress through the night, at a time in my life
Ain’t worried about if you feel it
Got my head on straight, I got my mind vibe right
I ain’t gonna let you kill it
See I wouldn’t change my life, my life’s just fine!

Pie of emotions..

2010-02-25T17:56:00.005+08:00

Suddenly stumble with this chart pie... 'hope' presented very little here... most people easily lost hope when stuck in the troubles. Whatever problems we are facing..dont forget to lit up the candle of HOPE.. (hehehee..especially to me..). Need a break through..

I remembered a quote about HOPE..mind to share with you...

The Four Candles burned slowly.
Their Ambiance was so soft you
could hear them speak...

The first candle said, "I Am Peace, but these days, nobody
wants to keep me lit." Then Peace's flame slowly
diminishes and goes out completely.

The second candle says, "I Am Faith, but these days, I am
no longer indispensable." Then Faith's flame slowly
diminishes and goes out completely.

Sadly the third candle spoke, "I Am Love and I haven't the
strength to stay lit any longer."
"People put me aside and don't understand my
importance. They even forget to love those who are
nearest to them." And waiting no longer, Love goes out
completely.

Suddenly...A child enters the room and sees the three
candles no longer burning. The child begins to cry, "Why
are you not burning? You are supposed to stay lit until the
end."

Then the Fourth Candle spoke gently to the little boy,
"Don't be afraid, for I Am Hope, and while I still burn, we
can re-light the other candles."

With Shining eyes the child took the Candle of Hope and
lit the other three candles.

Never let the Flame of Hope go out of your life.
With Hope, no matter how bad things look and
are...Peace, Faith and Love can Shine Brightly in our lives.

Finding myself

2010-02-16T12:26:00.006+08:00

Looking back 10 years ago…I questioned myself, what I am going to be in 10 years time… Looking back my old black diary 10 years ago make me realized one thing.. the excitement, which hardly to find in myself now…

And now I question myself again, who, what and where I am in 10 years time from now… looking back all the dreams written in the old black diary, something inside urge me to make it real though some of it looks impossible ..hehhehee…

Someone emailed me the so called yearly horoscope (I don’t believe this but good for alertness hehehehhe) that I’m not doing really good this year except in my career. So, must focus in my career for stable income, reputation and recognition. Money ~ Not good for short-term investment, spend wisely, no lottery or windfall luck. Love unstable, up and down. Health~ need to pay attention in my safety while I’m not home, need to visit doctor regularly (which I hate to), take care more people at my home despite on my busy career. In other words, I only have a fair luck in this year of tiger hehehhee…the major events its only related to my career and reputation….sigh..

Despite a lot of struggle and juggling in my life … disappointment, non-acceptance, heart break, loss and much more it doesn’t stop me to ‘dream again’ hehehhee.. thank you for long holiday CNY which give me a time to clear my wardrobe and found my old diary. Looking back for excitement in life, try everything which will cross my mind, try to make it real… spread my wings and fly.. thank you to those who make me braved and strong again, thank you to those who let me down coz it will make me stand again…

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

Yeah, when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah, when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck

Yeah, when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years

And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah, when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my Maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of His amazing grace

Yeah, when I get where I'm going
Oh, when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear

When I get where I'm going
Yeah, when I get where I'm going

Kinabalu Girl

2010-01-29T17:40:00.006+08:00

One of my longest online friend from Mexico, always address me ‘Hey..Kinabalu girl, how are you?”. At first I don’t bother about it. To me it’s natural because I came from Sabah in which Mount Kinabalu located about. Then one day, I asked him ‘why you keep calling me Kinabalu Girl since you know my name?’ He answered me ‘Kinabalu is the name of the tallest mountain in South-East Asia. By calling you that, it will remind me’. Then I asked him, if he knows the legends of the Mount Kinabalu. He did not know except, Kinabalu is one of the safest mountain to climb..hahahhaaa.. I asked him to goggle the stories behind the name of Kinabalu…lets him find out first..lol..

Everyone knows Mount Kinabalu one of the tallest mountains in South-East Asia but some do not know the legend behind it. Some stories can consider as a myth. I don’t care how they look into it as for me being a biggest local ethnic in Sabah make me proud…lol. The biggest local ethnic in Sabah is Dusun. Dusun can be categorized into few tribes like Lotud, Lundayeh, Tidung, Tindal… so many to write.. lol. But now, most people addressed us as Kadazandusun (1989 conference KDCA) due to the identity crisis that had crippled and impeded the growth and development of the Kadazan-Dusun multi-ethnic community in socio-culturally, economically and politically. Kadazanism vs Dusunism sentiments were politices in early 60’s. The best alternative approach to resolve this problem is to use Kadazandusun. I don’t care about it either because we came from the same ‘tree’. .^-^

Back to the Mount Kinabalu, there is few version of the legend/myth…

The mountain’s name brings many stories with regards to the origin of its name. The first derivation of the word Kinabalu was taken from the KadazanDusun word ‘Aki Nabalu’, which translated means ‘the revered place of the dead’. The locals believed that the spirits were roaming on the peak of the mountain, feeding off moss that grows amongst bare rock. Upon ascent to the peak, the Kadazandusuns would perform religious ceremonies to appease the spirits of the mountain. In the modern times, the Kinabalu park guides perform these rituals. If you lucky enough, you can join the shows too..hehheee

A second source states that the name Kinabalu derives from “Cina Balu” (or translated to a Chinese Widow). The pronunciation of the word “Cina” (chee-na) was change to “Kina” (Kee-na) due to the influence of the KadazanDusun of Sabah. The story goes that a Chinese prince was cast away to Borneo when his ship sank in the middle of the South China Sea. After being rescue by natives from a nearby village, he grew fond of the people and was then accepted by the natives. He fell in love with a local girl and eventually married her. As the years passed, he felt homesick and requested permission from his new found family to return back to China to visit his parents. He had promised that after his trip back to China, he would return to Borneo to take her and their children to China.Upon his return to China, he was given a grand welcome, but to his dismay, his parents disagreed on bringing back his family, which he had left in Borneo. It was arrange that he was to wed a princess from a neighboring kingdom. As such, he obeyed his parents with a heavy heart. His wife back in Borneo decided to wait for his ship to return. She decided to climb the highest mountain in her village every morning at sunrise to get a better view of the coast, but eventually her efforts took a toll as she fell ill and died at the peak of the mountain whilst waiting for her husband’s return. The people in her hometown village were gravely touched by her and decided to name the mountain Kinabalu in remembrance of her… how touching. In modern time, I don’t dare to say if any ladies outside there still do the same. But, I’m very sure 70% might be 'cabut' already..lol..

The others is about a Chinese Prince seeking a huge pink pearl that exists at the very top of the mountain and guarded by a ferocious dragon. After a terrific battle, he slays the dragon and took the pearl, whereon he married local Kadazandusun woman. He got homesick and deserted his wife to return to China and the heartbroken wife wandered to the mountain and was turned to stone… beware if you ever climb mount Kinabalu and saw a beautiful ladies… hehheee..

By the way if you ever visit Sabah, don’t forget to put in your list to climb Mount Kinabalu and I’m happy to be your guide but up to the feet of the mountain only!!! Hahahahaa…

My First Drawing...

2010-01-25T17:24:00.004+08:00

While I’m surfing internet this morning, I saw a very familiar pictures. As I trying hard to remembered, I accidentally click on the image and knowing instantly… yes, ‘flower in the vase’ is one of my first drawing with watercolor in primary school. My class Teacher asked us to draw whatever things we saw in our classroom. As I gazed around, my eyes saw a dusty and faded picture hanging at the wall. I told my Teacher and pointing to the object ‘I’m going to draw that flower in a vase’. She smiled to me and answered ‘good choice! You will remember this painting when you grew up’. Now I understand why she told me like that. It is Vincent Van Gogh popular painting!!! Wah… I feel so blessed.. heheheee.. I google about Vincent Van Gogh and found out the painful story behind those drawings…

Flower in the vase...

Vincent van Gogh is one of the history's greatest artists. His fame was never realized during his own lifetime. In fact, Vincent was a much misunderstood. Peoples cannot accept his idea and called him crazy although he came from wealthy family. Most people did not accept or love him because of this condition. Eventually, it got the better of him and he took his own life. He loves arts very much. He put all his expression and feeling to the drawing. He observed people lives and draw to the canvas.

The pain of depression and rejection could not overcome the love he had for his art. Being not completely insane but yet suffering recurring emotional pain, he took his own life. Vincent Van Gogh and his art were like lovers in a relationship. The love is still there though the body not.

One of the drawing in my classroom... I couldn't draw this ... hahhahaa...

Sometimes we did not realized our past actions but slowly know when we're getting older... (hahahaa… I’m getting older..la la la…)

Oh..Friday

2010-01-15T14:32:00.003+08:00

Time past so fast.... it's Friday now. Dont know what to do..I should make an advance plan for every weekend otherwise I'll spend it in front of TV, sleep and eat more till Sunday evening..hehheehee.. not good for woman right?...keep adding weight, lazy and tired.. what are you going to do guys? For tonight I planned to watch movie..lol..

By the way, I've got a promotion price from my friend for her newly open beauty shop (2nd shop). What a good idea since now 'bulan tua' and at the same time I really need a body massage and scrubing and its really cheap!!..thanks God. It's not easy to look for the package below RM100 for this two combination... normal price can add up to RM200++. I considered myself lucky this weekend..hehheee... night time? a friend of mine told me....'let' s go to hu ha hu ha..' emm... good idea. Maybe I should join...emm...still thinking about it..lol..

Anyway, have a blessed Friday night guys....

The Days That I Should Be Grateful

2010-01-11T11:26:00.003+08:00

Every morning we wake up, there must be some 'leftover' from yesterday which, sometimes will affect our days. We should be grateful for what lesson we received yesterday. Some hards..some not.. and for that I wanted to remind myself..that I should be grateful each day...to count my blessing... yes it is hard, it is hurts.. and I'm start counting now..

The mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends

The taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed

The clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have enough to eat

A lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning and gutters that need fixing because it means I have home

The space I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking

The lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means that I can hear

The piles of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear

Weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been productive

The alarm clock that goes off in the early morning hours because it means that I'm alive

Even though I clutch my blanket and growl when the alarms rings, thank you Lord that I can hear. There are many who are deaf

Even though I keep my eyes closed againts the morning light as long as possible, thank you Lord that I can see. Many are blind

Even though I huddle in my bed and put off rising, thank you Lord that I have the strength to rise. There are many who are bedridden

Even though the first hour of my day is hectic, when socks are lost, no hot water for coffee, tempers are short..thank you Lord for my family. There are many who are lonely

Even though our breakfast table never looks like the pictures im magazines and the menu is at times unbalanced, thank you lord for the food we have. There are many who are hungry

Even though the routine of my job often is hard, thank you Lord for the opportunity to work. There are many who have no job

Even though I grumle and bemoan my fate from day and wish my circumtances were not modest, thank you Lord for the life

If God brings you to it-He will bring you through it...

(hehehehe... jiwang mood activated..lol..)

Are We In Making....?

2010-01-08T17:46:00.003+08:00

I'm very upset with the news today... burning..bombing.. what happen to all of us? what happen to the 1Malaysian? what happen to the '5 Rukun Negara'?

Another disapointment? Yes Indeed..................

All I Wanna Do..

2010-01-05T10:59:00.007+08:00

We all making lists. Especially if we live by our own ‘organizer’ and rules. Well.. I’m talking about myself.. lol... I’m making all those list to keep track of all the things that I need to do, to make progress in certain areas of my life and to be reminded of them at the appropriate time. When I failed, I feel so unmotivated and starting to lost focus, regret and down. Juggling with all this lists make me suffer sometimes. And I realize one thing, people starting make an expectation to me in whatever things I do. That make me stress and suffocated…huh..

But, since these few days.. I feel like.. I don’t need all of this.. all I want is do something that can or chances to break all those rules.. my own rules …. hehehe… maybe I just want to give up everything and do something crazy.. hope I’m not too crazy to get fired and unemployed, drawn in debts, tickets summons… lol..

Jingle Jingle All The Way....

2009-12-22T10:56:00.004+08:00

I’ve took 2 weeks off from routine works and started work yesterday. Where did I go? Of course invested my money to all shopping outlet and making the Taukeh there richer and richer.. hehehehe.. Shop for Christmas goodies with my sisters and friends. I jingle-jingle all the way from 1Borneo, Metrojaya, Warisan Square and most all the shopping outlet in KK I explored from 10am to 10pm!!!.. There is a day I didn’t buy anything but cuci mata and eat a lot… never tired. Totally forgot of my exams and assignments.. hehehehee.. never tired for shopping… lol.. woman is woman.. excuse me..kekeeee..

Christmas comes the same time every year. I’ve making a list and make a set spending amount for each person on the list. And had prepared a little extra in case prices go up or to add a little something extra in the lists (especially to my nephews and niece ..hehehee). Normally I add about 10% over the total. However, I cannot managed my spending coz too much sales..sales..and sales… now I'm broke.. :(. Luckily I back to work.. and become kuai-kuai now.. hehehee

Maybe I need to open an extra savings accounts or Christmas club account to control my spending habit… got such things meh??? ... lol..

Whatever it is.. let's jingle all the way this Christmas.. less than 60 hours we will celebrate the Christmas.. the coming of our Savior …

Christmas In My Heart

2009-12-17T11:59:00.005+08:00

Here I'm back again.. on Christmas season.. wishing all of you Merry Christmas!! So long did not update my blog due to my tight schedules. Too much things happen.. story to be a history.. let this coming year.. write another story for another history of the year!!!

Christmas always in my heart.. for the coming of our Saviour.. let everyday be Christmas..

Every time we say goodbye
There's something breaking deep inside
I tried to hide my feelings to keep myself controlled
But somehow I can't deny what's deep inside my soul

I've been always on the run
So many different places, having fun
But like a river always knows just where to flow
Now that December comes I feel like coming home

It's Christmas in my heart
When I'm with you
No matter where we are or what we do

Tomorrow may be grey
We may be torn apart
But if you stay tonight
It's Christmas in my heart

I don't know how to stay alive
Without your touch without you by my side
Just like the desert's always waiting for the rain
Oh baby, I wish the holy night would come again

Everywhere I go and everyone I know
Is making lots of wishes for old Santa Claus
But all I really need tonight
Is for you to come and hold me tight
What is Christmas without you here by my side
I need you tonight

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!

From Failure to Blessings

2009-10-27T13:58:00.006+08:00

Again and again.. I’ve sworn that I was going to take a weekend away and think things through. Except that by the time I got away and actually got going on the weekend, all I wanted to do was rest and recover. Such as by looking at the ocean to relax, see the horizon, and listen to the rhythm of the waves to remove the stress from my soul or staring at the ocean doesn’t work for me. A quiet weekend doesn’t work for me…hehehee.. Quiet weekends are for sleep, recovery, and not thinking about anything.. but then last weekend (to be specific on Friday till Sunday) I’ve joined the Live By Word Retreat organized by Bible Apostolic of Sacred Heart. And the speaker is Bishop Cornelius Shim (Brunei). I’ve touched on the segment of ‘Turn Your Failure into Blessing’ and ‘You’ve Taken and Chosen to be.. Take it and Turn it’. Overall I love all the encouraging words, life and faith experiences of the Bishop. He have chosen and take it.. from Engineer of Shell company which going around the worlds with big $$$$ income to the humble man… can I do that? Emm… I cant answered it..hehee

When we make the decision to change, we often do it because we are sick and tired of the life that we have been living. That choice is usually based on an earnest desire to do things differently, however, under our own strength; it doesn't always work out that way.

Recovery is an important part of the process of overcoming addiction or habit. Recovery is for all of us who are tired of anything that may be destroying lives. It is for all of us who want to stop living in grief, fear, anxiety, guilt and shame. It is for all of us who want to separate ourselves from the issues of the past.

God is in the change business. He has the ability to make all things work together for the good of those that place their faith in Him. God promises us that He can and will heal us through His Holy Spirit. God Bless…

Relaxing Workout

2009-10-20T12:57:00.007+08:00

I don’t do any exercises which required energy especially jogging or walking. I always feel tired halfway. I even tried the aerobics and it’s only last for month. Why? I don’t like the feeling after workout.. hahahaha. My friend introduce me one kind of relaxing exercises called ‘Pilates’. I heard about it before and assumed it was for slimming purposes to flatten the stomach, belly and hip. However it is contributing and helps to reduce a weight loss without popping up in the gyms to do the body cardio and which again, needs more energy... huh. But after joined it for almost 2 weeks now, I found it’s very relaxing and need not much energy.. hehehe.. no need to go out to the sun, no sport shoes and you can do it even at your room. I’m sure your guys have heard about this Pilates thingy but still, I want to share with you all. Who knows you all want to join me…hehehe..

Pilates is a body conditioning routine that seeks to build flexibility, strength, endurance, and coordination without adding muscle bulk and it’s also increases circulation and helps to sculpt the body and strengthen the body's which focusing on activation of the low back and pelvic stabilizers during each exercises, strengthens the muscles to support the spine and protect it from injury.

This is kind are various exercises methods from around the world, among them the mind-body formats of yoga and Chinese martial arts. These exercises are intertwined between our physical and mental health. The designed of this exercises program are around principles that support the philosophy of yoga-meditation including concentration, precision, control, breathing and flowing movements. Most of the Pilates exercise focusing on the mat exercise. These exercises are designed according to the needs of our body’s to use it’s own weight as resistance. In more specific and descriptive terms, Pilates exercises focus on flexibility of the spine in all planes of motion and encourages the individual to pay close attention to their own postural or range of motion limitations so they can obtain the most out of each exercise for their individual body.

I like this kind of exercise because is so relaxing, calming but NO Sleeping hahaa…

....................

2009-10-02T12:44:00.004+08:00

There is a time... you can't face it alone..

I've Been Stalked!!...

2009-09-29T11:46:00.006+08:00

One sunny day after the Mass service, I’m heading with a little step to my car, I heard a small honk from a car. I tried to look around which car is honking but couldn’t see any. Maybe it’s from opposite of the street...whatever. Almost few step to reach my car, I heard this small honk again. Feel irritated, I just ignored it. When I'm trying to reach my car keys from my super duper big size handbag.. the sound of the honk came again.. Then I noticed one black car flashing a small light to me (at first not sure, whether it was for me.. hehehe..). I couldn’t see the person due to his high dark tinted glasses. Well, it’s maybe one of the church parishioners. Then I just waved my hand, simply opened my car and started the engine.

At road side, I saw the same car drive slowly behind me… what’s the..? Anger start to spark.. (What an attitude after church huh!!.. hehehe). I drive slowly, trying to give the ‘black car’ to overtake me. Well.. 'the car' didn’t took the chance, so I drive fast…. Trying to leave this car behind. Feel hungry… don’t know where to go… drive along the beach at Jalan Pantai and landed after at KP. Looking for parking space.. and headed to one of the restaurant.. not so many people.. good!! Otherwise, I will feel awkward. After making order, my eyes wandering around… and there in front of me.. the ‘black car’ parked!!.. wow!! I feel goose bump all around me. Am I being stalked?... I did not see any person inside..

After took few sip of my ‘Kopi O’ someone approached me… looks familiar.. he was my old school friend 10++years ago.. the owner of the ‘black car’!!!... I asked him why he 'stalking' me…. He can't stop laughing looking at my pale face. So… jahat.. The breakfast took 3 hours with rewinds story of the past… so much story to tell with so limited time.. Sharing what’s happening in our life now. After the meal, we waved each other, exchanged number and email. That is his last day at KK after took 2 weeks leave from his work. He worked at oversea… hope will see him again.. that’s what we hope.. what a day.. being stalked by my ‘old friend’.. hahahhahaa….

Where Are Them Now

2009-09-25T12:28:00.007+08:00

Once upon a time.. they are my favourites.. and still..

Hahahaa.. my beautiful and sexy hero.. my notes book full with her stickers.. yay!!

Never say no.. heheee

Popeye the sailorman..piitt..piiitt!!!... and that time I believed spinach can make you strong hehehehe.. skinny Olive who always wanted a strong man... During my school time I've been labeled as an 'Olive'.. and now who dared to label me? hehehhee.. I'm not skinny anymore..whoaa hahaa.,..

Natasha Fatale.. the big bos woman at the Bullwinkle show... her order is a command..

My dearest Muttley.. love his gigling.. wheezing.. shackle-razzle

Here.. my favourites Mr. Magoo.. always being saved by his weird and spontaneous characters..

How's a day.. where to go... Hello Magilla

Remind me the sexiest and seductive woman......

Jughead.. one of the pal of Archie.... his weird and classic behaviour...

Happy Friday everybody and have a Blessed weekend......

Soul Vacations

2009-09-18T13:06:00.007+08:00

Giving ourselves time to reflect and heal can be a powerful way to process the things that are happening in our lives, and one of the best approaches to do this is by going on a retreat. And that’s what I’m going to do … :) with intention to heal and learn more about what had happened, why and how it is happened. Everyone has a different view and experiences the world differently. It is important to choose a type of retreat that works best for us (especially for me … kekekkee). Some of my friends recommend to me kind like a yoga or tai-chi. But I prefer to choose the one that really can connects with my soul needs. The most important thing is to respect our unique stage of development and to be patient with ourselves since any thoughts or issues that arise are simply part of the process of healing.

Just remember that, retreat is an intense period of time where serious soul searching takes place can help us allow whatever may happen to us to fully unfold. Going on retreat may sound like a vacation (don’t you think so?), but based on my experiences, most retreat ask you to look deep inside of yourself, and sometimes this can be uncomfortable or stir the pot of our soul.

Not everybody can have immediate healing for one time retreat. Sometimes it takes more time depending on our openness to the process by putting down all the ego, anger and be humble in every second. Putting our trust in the retreat process will make space for the necessary work we have to do, making it easier for our hearts and minds to explore wholly the innermost reaches of our soul. By paying attention to these messages, we pave the way for greater healing and transformation, since spending time in contemplation at a retreat will give us the gift of insight and understanding that we can use in all aspects of our daily lives.

By sharing these experiences, I hope it will make a ‘door’ to those who have planned to go… Happy weekend, Happy Hari Raya and God Bless you all.

Mary Annai Velangkanni

2009-09-13T10:21:00.008+08:00

Continuations from my last visit to Medan in August..hehheee..

What you see below is not a Temple, it’s a church … called ‘Mary Annai Vellangkanni’ Our Lady of Good Health located at Tanjung Selamat, Medan North Sumatera. Based on the popular devotion to Mother Mary who is said to have appeared in 17th century in a coastal village called Vailankanni, in Tamil Nadu India. She has come to be known as Annai Velangkanni, meaning Mother of Velangkanni just as Mary, Our Lady of Lourdes and Our Lady of Fatima.

This majestic looking building resembles a towering Temple, which will certainly draw the attention of any passers by. Mary Annai Velangkanni was under construction from September 2001 to September 2005 and was declared open on 1st October 2005.

The uniqueness of this shrin lies in the originality of its Indo-Mogul architecture, in it's ornaments and display of colours done by amateur hands and above all in it's Biblical content narrating from the history of salvation from creation until the second coming of Jesus through it's structures, ornaments and paintings. The shrine consists of two floors; A Community Hall on the ground floor a place of worship on th first floor with a balcony and seven storey tower with tripple domes, symbolizing heaven, the abode of the Triune God Almighty.

Rev. Fr. James Bhrataputra, SJ designer architect and contractor of this monumental shrine. The whole concept of the shrine was inspired by one of the contemplations on the mystery of Incarnation as suggested in the spiritual exercise of St. Ignatius of Layola, the founder of the Jesuit Order. Rev. Fr James has tried to give a concrete form to his life long contemplation as a Jesuit.

Mini garden dedicated to the memory of Marian Pope John Paul 11.

Children park back of the chapel

Before the entrance of the second floor stand two huge statues of St. Paul, the Apostle of nations and St Francis Xavier the Apostle of Asia welcoming the visitors. I only managed snap a statue of St Paul.

Entrance of the Community Hall at the ground floor

The miracles of God.

The interior of the church that is studded fully with relief, paintings and ornaments is a feast for eyes.

The dome above the alter has three paintngs describing the second coming of Christ and tha last judgement scenes.

The last supper

From the entrance door of the church, you can see the paintings are diffrent. What's the different?? Let me tell you.. but for sure I couldnt believe my eyes too!!.. I saw they having the feast at a table but when I come closer to the altar.. the feast are on the floor. Too bad, My camera a 'too good' to took a picture..hahhahaaaa...

Another church.. which catch my eyes.. St Fransiscus De Asisi.. located at Brastagi

The structures and design from the Batak culture

Inside the chapel..

Actually I took too many pictures of different types of church with their own uniqueness and design... will share with you all..next time..hehhehee

I'm So Tired...

2009-09-12T08:00:00.001+08:00

Feeling tired is one of the most common phrases in many of us especially with those who deal with timeline in work or study. Not easy to diagnose what is the real caused of tired as it could be caused by so many different ailments. Last night, I can’t sleep and my mind start thinking to find out why I feel so exhausted especially this week. Normally, I answered my mind by saying that ‘I’m tired coz I over worked ..I’m tired coz not enough time ..I’m tired coz not enough sleep and etc’. It’s just a few reasons of why I might be feeling so tired.

Maybe I bored with my routine works and daily personal life. Everyday come home from work and just collapse on couch or bed feeling tired. No desire to move on and don’t want to do anything. Feel trapped doing the same thing every day with no hope for escape. Always feel like my whole life was ‘get up, go to work, come home, go to bed then repeat again tomorrow’. Feel frustrated with what’s happening in my life.

Today is Saturday and not a working day for me. But still need to come to office to do some works.. now I’m ready to take a shower.. :(

Maybe I need to try something new… but I still feel tired to think about it.. hehheehee. And now I still very tireeeeeeeedddddddd….

The Obstacle..

2009-09-08T05:36:00.003+08:00

Time is running out...

With every steps taken, it may lead to unforgiving decisions...

Lonely Weekend

2009-08-30T07:48:00.008+08:00

Cloudy Saturday.. bored at home. No good movies played at Astro. I called up my friend to take a walk. Have a little breakfast then round-round town. Nothing interesting. We went to religious bookshop at Wisma Merdeka and saw an advertisement of Doulos coming down to KK.. and start today at 6.00pm!! wow... means I can have a lot books..hehehheee (ulat buku..). Too bad.. open at 6.00pm..sigh.. so, we decided to took a little drive away from town..and end up to Karambunai Resorts.. (cuci mata saja..hehehe..)

Far..far away...

One of the open restaurant in front of the swimming pool.. the food are quite expensive.. lunch cost RM150++ per pax.. including a glass of wine..phew..

Then we went to East Karambunai..Lagoon Park.. again.. cuci mata only..

Some activities at Lagoon Park..you can have one with the very moderate fee.. they count by hours. Entrance fee RM10 only..

Since it's a cloudy day..the water also look cloudy..hahhaaa.. I mean I hoping it's blue..

After sunsett mass..again.. this two single ladies..lol.. went to Doulos ship. Our intentions are only cuci mata and surveyed the price and come back tomorrow to 'invest' some money there. The price are based on unit. RM8 for 100 units. The price looked ok to me..coz you can have a lot of books such as religious, children bed time storybook and fairy tales, books by famous authors, educational, CD and etc which hardly to find at KK or Malaysia. If there is, price are expensived. But, I cannot control myself to have this book.. a cooking book. Very simple one. This what I'm looking for.. not much ingredients to prepare for one meal especially busy person like me..lol.. (atau kata lain...pemalas).

What you have to do is to prepare 3, 4 or 5 ingredients.. I bought it for RM32.. a lot of recipes inside.. from breakfast, lunch, dinner, cocktail, party, biscuits, juices, salad... I'll try to make one this evening.. then tonite will go back to Doulus.. Planned to buy a fairy tales and educational book for children..save for X'mas present.. hahahhaa.. why not since you can get it cheaper right?..lol..

Medan Trip 09.08.2009 (2nd day)

2009-08-22T21:01:00.012+08:00

As I promised.. here is my 2nd day of trip to Medan, North Sumatera.. hehheee...

Going through Medan-Parapat route seeing a lake as big as that made Samosir appear like an amazing grand island in North Sumatera.

There is the legend of Lake Toba and Samosir Island believed by the Batak people. Once upon a time..hehheee.. bed time story..ready? there was a man who named Toba lived around a ravine of Toba hill. Nobody knew when he arrived or where he came from. He lived in a small temporary hut on a farming area by the river, surrounded by an oval shaped hill. He was a fisherman. He also owned a garden. Once, he found a big fish in his woven rattan fish trap and it changed his life, in fact, he had never caught such a big fish before. It was an extra ordinary one. Then he put it in his hut and went out to think about how to cook it in a special way. After a little while, he went back to the hut. To his surprise, it was not an ordinary fish but a supernatural one. It had turned into a beautiful princess named Nauli. It is scales had changes in to beautiful jeweled ornaments and dresses fit for a princess. He then proposed to her, he asked her “will you be my wife” she nodded romantically.

The man was very happy. The princess said that she would like to get married to him but only with one condition. He should never tell any body that she had been a fish. The man agreed, she told hil that if he broken his promise that there would be tears and disaster.

Finally, they lived happily and harmoniously with their only daughter named Samosir. After the daughter grew up her mother always asked her to take her father’s lunch to him where he was out working in the fields. But unfortunately she was very greedy. Once , she ate up all the food that should have been given to her father. He was very angry when he saw her eating up all his food in the street. He shouted to her," you are rebellious. You are really the offspring of a fish". The princess heard the curse and felt that he had broken their agreement, arriving home the daughter asked her mother, who was crying about it. Without answering her daughter’s question, she asked her to go to a hill because there would be a disaster. After she had been praying for one minute there was an earthquake. Heavy rains fell down and springs came up from the ground. The place turned into Lake Toba and the hill into Samosir Island

See the 'small cruise' there? we used it as a transport to Samosir Island..

The heavenly beautiful of Lake Toba...

The Pride of Medan Indonesia. Lake Toba also known as the largest volcanic lake (crater lake) in the world. It is estimated that Toba Lake was formed during a volcanic eruption about 70,00 thousand years ago. After this eruption, a caldera was formed that was filled by water afterwards and now known as Toba Lake. The pressure from the dormant magma, which has not yet erupted, caused Samosir Island to emerge. Samosir Island are in the middle of the Toba Lake. Samosir Island is the world’s fifth largest island lake. Samosir Island is an approximately almost as big as Singapore Island, often described as the heartland of Batak culture, with their traditional dwellings are elevated house made of hard wood, and are located amidst beautiful mountain scenery.

HORAS!!!! is the local greetings delivered with enthusiasm. The Batak people love their lake and island, and many traditional local songs are written about it. We've been served with their local songs along the way to the Samosir Island sing by their 'local singers' hehheee.. too bad, I did not managed to took their pic's. I'm too amazed by the panaromic view of the Lake Toba. There are also some fine woodcarves at Samosir Island, as a glance at any of the souvenir shops will verify.

Batak handicrafts..

Batik and handicraft at Samosir Island

You can shop as much as you can.. and remember to bargain as low as you can..

Souvenir shops at Samosir Island..

Resort provided along the way to Samosir Island.. nice resort

Way to Samosir Island.. one of the local transport.. speed boat for the villagers to go to the main land.

Another island at Lake Toba

Nice view from my room.. you can see the Lake and Samosir Island

My 2nd day of staying..Niagara Hotel & Resort. Located at hill area, this hotel facing the Lake Toba .

Some facilities at the resort... I'm not dared to swim..hehehehe..beside swimming pool, you can have a karaoke and full body massage with 50,000 rupiah or RM17 approx.. yes, I did took the body massage.. sorry I cannot upload here..hehehee..

Evening view from my veranda room... Lake Toba with Batak legend.

Giant foot massage.. do you dare to go to the middle without slippers or shoes?.. hehehe.. made from original stone..
I've tried..painful.. managed to get to the centre..but cannot continued with the 'journey massage'.. I cannot stand the pain . I asked my friends to throw my slippers..hahhaaa..

Will post the 3rd and 4th day in my next post.. visits to Brastagi, active volcanos, love story of Gundaling Hill... wait.. lol..

08.08.2009 (1st day)

2009-08-15T11:27:00.008+08:00

08.08.2009? hahahaa.. sound funny. This is my 1st year anniversarry of blogging.. hehheee. What's more? oh ya.. I've mentioned in my previous post that I'm going to 'short break' vacation. Yes.. I went to North Sumatera, Medan with a group of 40 peoples. Nothing much happen in a 1st day. Let the pic's tell the story.

Medan is a nice medium sized city. Top of the list as safest city to visit in Indonesia. Nothing much to see in the city, except and old mosque and a palace with some history behind it. City is clean by "indonesian standards". You wont see many tourists around, mostly passing through to Lake Toba. And I'll post about Lake Toba in my next post.

The city is Indonesia's third most populous after Jakarta and Surabaya, with approximately 2.5 million people. The city has a mix of communities, reflecting its history. It is famous throughout Indonesia as the home of the Batak people. More recently more and more of the Batak ethnic minority have come to the city to make what was once a minority become a fairly sized community. However, Batak homelands are found throughout North Sumatra. In Medan, there is few ethnics of Batak such as Batak Simalungun, Batak Karo, Batak Maindaling, Batak Pak-Pak, Batak Angkola, Batak Toba and etc.. I cant recall.There are many old buildings in Medan that still retain their Dutch architecture. I will post the pic's in my next post.. too much to choose hehheee...lol..

(pictures taken from tour bus...lol..)

Becak Medan (Trishaw) is ones of the transportation means in medan. Some becaks are pedaled, while others are machine propellers. There are also more common transport like taxis and minibuses, known as 'Angkot' (Angkutan Kota)

One of the famous hotel in the city after Polonia Hotel. Asean International Hotel is our 1st stay. Located at town area and very closed to the food shops and night market.

Our Tourist Guide at the front counter.. Dove Tours

Some souvenir shop at the hotel. Medan famous with Batik Halus and other handicraft.

Hahahhahaa... my 1st bed to stay at Medan.. sharing with my friend

HORAS!!!! means terima kasih, selamat datang and others welcome greetings.. will come back later in my next post for the 2nd till 5th day of tour..

Short Break..

2009-08-07T13:54:00.005+08:00

Ready to go... (sorry for the blur pictures.. photo taken using hp)

I've committed my life to Christ and tried to walk by faith,
Deep within my heart, I want to be a man of God.
Yet sometimes I feel discouraged and alone,
Alone in my struggles to be a man of God.

Then God said to me:
I know what you are going through.
Why don't you play your life
to Me as your audience.
I'll give you the acceptance and love you need.

But I kept looking for results
and results have always made me afraid.

Then God said to me:
Just play your life to Me as your audience
and leave the results to Me.
Be not concerned with the crowd
But seek to please Me
Play your life to Me not the crowd.

I've compared myself to others
and tried to live like all of them
and uniformity proves to be a hurdle.

Then God said to me:
Just be yourself
for the body is not one member but many
and an eye is not an ear.
So just be yourself
and play your part consistently to Me.

I'm a Christian, I'm a man, a man with feelings,
Yet sometimes I'm afraid to own my feelings.

Then God said to me:
I've made man so be free to be human,
be free to own your feelings but do not deny Me.

I've committed my life to Christ
and with all my heart, I want to be a man of God.
Yet sometimes I've found myself anxious and restless inside.

Then God said to me:
Anxiety and restlessness are not signs
of the non-Christian life
for in the world you shall have tribulations.
But they may be signs
indicating that something is out of balance,
stop and look.
They are signs
pointing you back towards Me.

They shall produce patience
and patience develops character
and character begets hope.

But I've found it uneasy to be restless or discouraged!
How do I get out of this pit?

Then God said to me:
Come unto Me all ye that labour
and are heavy laden
and I'll give you rest.

And for that.. I’m leaving tomorrow… to the place I never been before.. to experience His love in everywhere… to take a rest from my sorrow, to take a breath from my worldly possessions, to leave everything that make me sick.. (for a while.. hehehe)

All about them..

2009-07-29T22:13:00.007+08:00

Well.. what I mean is.. I really miss them a lot. My nephews and niece... ^_^ xoxoxox0

Crossroads Of Life

2009-07-25T11:13:00.004+08:00

How often we must bear the challenges of life
The endless roller coaster between happiness and sorrow
The constant ups and downs of daily strife
And always the question remains .... why?

Life is not an easy road for most
It twists and turns with many forks in the road,
Although always, and inevitably, we are given a choice

Do we turn to the right ... or the left?
Do we take the high road ... or the low road?
Do we take the easy path ... or the difficult one?

Decisions are not easy for those struggling for direction
And sometimes the many choices and signs become overwhelming

While standing at a crossroads in life
The urge is to take the most comfortable path
The road with least resistance
The shortest or most traveled route

And yet, if we've been down that comfortable road before
Have gleaned its lessons in life, and learned from our experiences

Do we yet again follow the known?
Or does our destiny lie in another direction?

The fear of the road less traveled is tangible and all too real
It manifests itself in many ways
And tends to cloud the issues that might otherwise be clear

It is in these times of confusion
That we must seek peace and solitude

Time to contemplate on our life
Our experiences and our choices past
Time to look back, and reflect on what we have learned
Without fear or confusion

For only each of us knows our own personal thoughts
Our unique past and personal history
The experiences that brought us to the crossroads we now face.

We can always learn a small degree from others experiences
And yet ... no one person can walk in our shoes
Others know not, the trials and tribulations faced in private

For each is individual is unique and personal

And that is why ... while standing at a crossroads
Only we can formulate the decision for ourselves
The true direction that lies within
The choices we must deliberate on with clarity and wisdom

For it is only through personal reflection
That we can now choose our destiny
Our next adventure
And the future we will embrace

A Piece Of Me

2009-07-22T11:18:00.003+08:00

Four o'clock in the morning
Afraid to open my eyes
Another day of grief,
A day of fear.
All alone I feel.
I try to justify all the pain,
All of this guilt before my eyes.
Another day of confusion,
A day of wondering.
Is it ever just going to go away?
All this pain that I feel,
And all this anger, is it going to stay?

Ten o'clock in the evening,
Afraid of the nightmares.
Again my breathing stops.
All I can do is stare into the night.
What is it that causes this feeling?
Another night of crying,
A night of hiding,
Alone once again.
My heart feels empty,
And I can't cry another tear.
Another day wasted on insecurity,
A day of wonder.
Is this ever going to end?

~Shellie Sanchez~

You and Me..

2009-07-13T17:35:00.003+08:00

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands,
Oh.. I do love you,

Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

You've got this look i can't describe,
You make me feel like I'm alive,
When everything else is a fade,
Without a doubt you're on my side,
Heaven has been away too long,
Can't find the words to write this song,
Oh.,..
Your love,

Still i wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

I have come to understand,
The way it is,
It's not a secret anymore,
'cause we've been through that before,
From tonight I know that you're the only one,
I've been confused and in the dark,
Now I understand,

I wonder why it is,
I don't argue like this,
With anyone but you,
I wonder why it is,
I wont let my guard down,
For anyone but you
We do it all the time,
Blowing out my mind,

Just like a star across my sky,
Just like an angel off the page,
You have appeared to my life,
Feel like I'll never be the same,
Just like a song in my heart,
Just like oil on my hands

Thank you for being there all the time...

On and Off...

2009-07-08T15:31:00.000+08:00

A good friend of mine called me today. She’s engaged and in a relationship problems. I know about her problems as I always chat with her parents. I feel pity to her.. or should I?

They break up with anger, tears and end it up. Then, two weeks later, they've made up, talked it out, and together again. Another week later it happens again. Break up, make up, break up, make up, over and over again. After a while, it starts to get routine, and it’s become used to the constant tumultuous relationship. I do remembered they’ve throw the ring twice and make it up again

I wondered why she doesn't just end her chaotic relationship once and for all. Especially when she personally realized that this is an on-going pattern that may never come to a close. As a friend, I prefer her to take a long ‘holiday’ from these kind of stuff coz I really know how suck the impact to her life. The family had advised her too. Maybe these what we caked cinta karas… heheheeee..

Sometimes it’s hard to figure out which position is worse. Is it better constantly watching your friend in this emotional roller coaster or is it better to be one who is somehow stuck, and cannot make the final decision to the end the relationship. I know most of us agree that breakups suck. The most unforgiving part of a breakup is that moment when you start to second guess yourself.

There is never any way of knowing our fate with the one we love or what lies ahead of us, and despite everything, it's always hard to let someone go. To me the only thing we can really do is jump in head-first, listen to our instincts, and most importantly follow our heart.

I don’t know why I write these post.. emmm… no idea maybe.. hehhehee…

How Can I Keep From Singing

2009-07-02T10:06:00.003+08:00

When I was a child.. I keep sing this song with my friends. Listening to these song again make me realized how 'rich' we are... lol..

My life goes on in endless song
Above earths lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
That hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear its music ringing,
It sounds an echo in my soul.
How can I keep from singing?

While though the tempest loudly roars,
I hear the truth, it liveth.
And though the darkness round me close,
Songs in the night it giveth.

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock Im clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

When tyrants tremble in their fear
And hear their death knell ringing,
When friends rejoice both far and near
How can I keep from singing?

In prison cell and dungeon vile
Our thoughts to them are winging,
When friends by shame are undefiled
How can I keep from singing?

If I Forget

2009-06-15T16:25:00.005+08:00

I love this songs.. sometimes hard to express by words..

You're a million miles away,
Your voice, it speaks so painfully,
The path is never easy,
YOU gotta do what you've gotta do, I know,
In life we have to compromise,
The chaos of our choices,
And through every endevour,
I think of us forever,
So remember.

If I forget to say I love you,
It doesnt mean that I dont,
If I forget to say I miss you,
It doesnt mean that I,
It doesnt mean that I dont.

So much pressure HAUNTS YOU NOW,
Tell me we can climb this too,
AND Don't give up ON what we have,
Cos i dont wanna live my life,
Without you,
Without you.

If I forget to say I love you,
It doesnt mean that I dont,
If I forget to say I miss you,
It doesnt mean that I,
It doesnt mean that I dont,
It doesnt mean that I dont,
It doesnt mean that I dont,
It doesnt mean that I dont.

If I forget to say I love you,
It doesnt mean that I dont,
If I forget to say I miss you,
It doesnt mean that I,
It doesnt mean that I dont,
It doesnt mean that I dont,
It doesnt mean that I dont

Worth of meaning...

Where Have I Been...?

2009-06-06T15:44:00.002+08:00

Took leave from work..again..my bos surely doesnt like this.. hehehhee.... but he cannot do anything as I've quite a number of leave from previous year. And this what I'm doing... huhuu.. make me more stressed and exhausted

Searched for tips.. scoring.. analyze.. huhuuu...this is the prize I've to pay on 'last minute' revision.. hoping for some miracle...

Making the most of it... evaluate..appraised ... what is this?

At last... almost giving up... but wont surrender till it end... that is the spirit but where's the hope? huhuuuu...

This is the difficulties I faced for this past few years.. balance of work, study and life.. my work demand 70% of my time... I've a spirit of gold but never get enough.. which part that I failed?

Someone give me a tips on this... One thing I wonder about myself is.. I keep holding the 'goal' that I make 10 years ago... hehehhee... although this is a toughest way to live with....

But.. I praise Lord coz I've found somebody who really can 'push' me into my dreams again.. the dreams which leave behind for quite sometime.. thanks to him.. together pursuing the dreams.. never too late to ammend something.. hehehehehe... wish me luck for the 'battle' again...

Made me a meal and threw it on upon Sunday
I've gotta a lot of things to learn
Said I would and I'll be leaving one day
Before my hearts start to burn

So whats the matter with you
Sing me something new..dont you know?
The cold and wind and rain dont know
They only seem to come and go away

Times a hard when the things have got no meaning
I've found the key upon the floor
Maybe you and I will not believe in the things we find
Behind the door

Stand by me - nobody knows the way it's gonna be
Stand by me - nobody knows the way it's gonna be
Stand by me - nobody knows the way it's gonna be

If you're leaving will you take me with you
I'm tired of talking on my phone
There is one thing I can never give you
My heart can never be your home

Somehow.. somewhere..I've touched by these lyrics.. really represent how I feel now..

You Will Be There For Me..

2009-05-24T13:11:00.011+08:00

When I think back on this time
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad cause I was blessed
To get to have you in my life

When I think back on these day
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams I always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always a place for you, for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be

Well, you showed me how it feels

To have the sky within my reach

And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me

Your love made me make it through

Oh, I owe so much to you

You wre right thre for me

Cause I always saw in you my life, my strength

And I want to thank you now for all the ways

You were right there for me

Always

There you'll be

"God, life seems so bleak and useless right now. No energy, no ambition to do anything feeling down and make everyone feels too around me. Make me feel your presence in each my prayer. Life is good, I am good and You are good. Grant me hope. My loved ones love me. Let me regain to know vitality and purpose, happiness and love. Until then, give me the strength and hope to survive this day. Help me to smile and laugh, even if just for a moment. Be my strength and salvation. Restore me and make me whole. Fill me with the Words an Spirit that I might be recreated anew. I praise and thank you. Amen"